The Basement Lounge
The Basement Lounge

Season 2, Episode 67 · 5 months ago

Mitch McConnell's Neck

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Mitch McConnell has a weird neck. OnlyFans wants Mike Shea. RIP Gilbert Godfrey.

This week, Mike & Mike talk about:

  • Mitch McConnell's weird-ass neck
  • Mike Shea's potential OnlyFans
  • Farewell to Gilbert Godfrey

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Mike Shea - @mrmikeshea

Mike Wells - @mikewtfwells

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...of a heart he had. He had ventricular Tachy Cardia, which was a fast heart rate condition complicated by myotonic dystrophy, which is a form of muscular distribute. was what my cousin had. Jesus, that's not a it's not a fun way to go. MMM, basically, your body, it can't support your mouth, especially that muscles can't supports. My Dad has, Stepdad whatever has muscular dystrophy. Yeah, and he described the best way to describe muscular Dystriphu is like if you took like an apple and like it just rotted. That that's your muscle. It just rots away. My cousin was the same way. We were the same age. He just over the years his muscles just got weaker and weaker. He was in a wheelchair, they was in a motorized wheelchair. Then he was basically just in bed until the day he died. Yeah, it's and it's your muscles just stopped working. They just start to deteriorate gradually. With my daddy had du Shen's. They thought he had ducens and then they realized he didn't have these shens because, like it's my funds. It's a dip, it's a version muskiled. Okay, and I mean my dad don't get along either, but I know a lot about my grandalls to about it. So I talk my dad like five years. That's besides the point. Um, he has that. But with my dad, they said because he got it when he was I mean he was born with it. Obviously right, but they when he had it, they are like he'll lucky to lived to six months, lucky to the one. Then five, yeah, and ten, than eighteen, and they just stopped giving my grandma like just how long he'll live? Yeah, and he's real alive. Yeah, so it's good. I guess assholes live forever. Yeah, that's but they recently did like because he had like really bats. Something was going on with like he's lost a lot of weight, he's really sick, and I took him to, I camera, what hassle took him to. But then they're like, yeah, you don't have a form of muscular DISTREC see, we've ever seen before. Oh Shit, yeah, so they'll it's like something they've never seen before. See, my dad had my senior graves, which is where your white blood cells attack your muscle tissue. which they were able to get that under control when they basically killed his immune system. Yeah, but, yeah, my cousin had the muscular had muscular distrophy. He I don't know if it was the same kind or why, but six is sixty seven mm Han, I'd be older. Is that weird? Um? I honestly I don't know how. I don't know if I was surprised by that number and I think the me just just kind of like yeah, okay, sure, he's like in a sent is close to s the I was in a s for whatever reason, but it's always look the same too. It's straight there and like it looks the same now as he did like I feel like forty, I guys, and his look has never changed. I've never yeah, he's always looked at you always. He never seemed to be getting older or or anything. He just yeah, it's like he was. It's like he was like a one of the simpsons. They've been around for like fucking thirty years, but it still bart still in the fourth grade. Yeah, it's so. It's so that's what he looked like. But I was thinking about it too when I first heard the news because I was thinking back to like how long I've been a fan. I was like, like, this goes back to like when I was like four years old, like when like Aladdin came out and he was fucking Eaga of the parrot. Yeah, ladden, and he was a wasn't in problem child. Yeah, that's where I remember him using problem. I mean he's I mean he's been in fucking every black duck forever. Ye, like fired him his the way he would fucking go back at them on twitter, like I think even like to this day, he would always make a joke because he's he would make a joke about farmers. He'd be like, I apologize to any farmers I've offended with this joke. Ever since the half lack thing, but that...

I mean, like I said, like anything all the animated Shit, like he was one of those of I remember. You ever see him on that show are you afraid of the dark? He was so are you afraid of there was one episode of are you afraid of the dark? He was like the one of the bad guys or whatever, and he it was it was well, yeah, I know what you talking to, you baby. A fake radio station or whatever, and he use this real voice at one point and I was like I'm uncomfortable because it's real voice was so normal. I don't think I've ever Howard stern has a like a like a voicemail or something from him. For this I found a video like years ago of Gilbert coppery leaving him a voicemail and it was like his normal voice and it was like because you even even Robin was like that is the weirdest thing ever. So very like he's got a very he's got a very deep voice. There's a very deep, monotone kind of dad voice. Yeah, yeah, it's me. It makes me hard. Why it? I don't know. I got thing for dead people. His his parts dead, and me it's fucking aristocrats is oh dude, that's so fucking funny. I got I never really talked about Bob Sage's and Bob sagets is fucking legendary, but but Gilbert's is so just where. He's like all the blood and the shit and the sweat out, the sweat and the Sun starts blowing the day. He's just fast and are in the ASS like Jesus Christ. I always loved it, like politics, notwithstanding, when he shows up at trump's roast to be Marley Matlin's interpreter. Oh yeah, and he just goes on this whole tirade about how trump knows where the fourth hole is and he turns the Marley and goes that's is that good to you? She's like yeah, it's close enough, so good. Now they have aristocrat. Thing is so fucking like, so fucking funny. Yeah, if you get a chance to look up who was listening, look up Gilbert Godfrey's aristocrats. It's on Youtube. It's just him a like a sing at table. They look at like a conference table or some shit. Then did you see about where he did it? It was like right after like nine hundred and eleven. No, like he was doing like I think it was a few months after nine hundred and eleven. Knows, though. It was a roast of Hugh Hefner. I've never seen his Hu and me look at I don't think they could air anything he did really, because he ends like he starts doing, because a couple jokes seems like. Man, I had a I was afraid I'd something like I was afraid to get on a plane today because I had a had a layover at the Empire State Building, Oh my God. And it's just like a couple months after night list. So guys like too soon. And here's like a it's like a nine minute fifty video of five minute one, a seven minute one, and he does the aristocrats bit because that he realizes like oh the he's losing them. He's lose them. So he's like fuck, I'm stupid, this ristocrat and he just fucking wins them over. Like when's the RISTCRATS bit? So sorry, I just thought today I was scrolled through tick tock and it was I didn't know about this. I didn't know Martin Lawrence was banned from SNL. I know that either he's banned from as he got band from snl because he had his momy did his monolog when he so it was like ninety four, yeah, and he's hosting and he goes off. He had like this pre he was doing stand up basically for his opening monolog and he went off book and when in this whole tirade that you like, you can't find it anywhere. And but whenever a SNL reairs the episode, they basically cut away in the middle of his monolog and go, we legally cannot air the rest of this monolog it almost cost everyone their jobs. Oh Wow, and they basically go into they go into like a little like a bullet point, like like here's kind of the stuff he was joking about. It was stuff like like women's hygiene and and certain orifices and things like that. He's like, he's like we personally at the show don't care, but the network will not have it. Regular network, regular they'd say, we cannot are this ever...

...again. We will now return you back to the rest of his monolog and it's just the end of him going like we got a great show for you know, like they cut out the rest of his fucking monolog. It's and they said he's not allowed back. The city was banned from the show. But in the fact they almost lost their jobs, for which I'm like, what the fuck did he say? I hate gotta know. I've I spent like an hour looking online like it. The clip does not exist. I bet you can find out one of those beheading videos that really fucked, like they cut off the dudes head and there's the video right, or those on the dark web or some shit. Is a weird Panada, but okay, it's an NFT. Yeah, it's it'll be on a I'll you know what, I'll find that. I'll make it available on my on my upcoming only face. You know, sometimes it feels like life really gives you the raw deal. So give yourself some raw comfort in the form of edible cookie dough from dope. Dope is committed to reducing the stigmas around mental health and addiction recovery, while making the world a little sweeter one spoonful at a time. They've got flavors ranging from classics like chocolate chip and snickerdoodle to crazy concoctions like Brownie batter and Ntella Banana. Plus, they donate a portion of every sale to the she recovers Foundation, a nonprofit charity with a mission to connect, support and empower women in or seeking recovery overy. Just head on over to dopecom Dou ghpcom put together a killer sample pack and use the Code Tblo five to get five dollars off your order at check out. You'll also get free shipping nationwide. So grab some dope today and get ready to lick that spoon clean. They emailed me again today. Why do they eat I don't know. It was okay. So, for those who don't know, last Wednesday I did. I did twenty minutes set. It's South Park Tavern. It is what it is. I'll talk about it. Uhuh. But the next morning, like Zo am, I woke up to an email from Gretchen. It only fans emailing you, saying we think you'd be a great fit for one of our comedian content providers here on. Only fans. We've got so many tools in the other and so get out and we'll help you to set up with some good marketing strategies. And I'm like, what the fuck? Where did this come from? No idea, I know. I don't know. And then today I got an email again from Gretchen like hey, just want to follow up, make sure you got my previous email. Had those head and heard back from you. Yet it's like I'm still trying to process this, Gretchen. I'm been need longer than a week and see what I has do it me. fucking you are grossly overestimating my my audience. There, Gretchen, you're assuming I have an audience for one. What the fuck? Just think. So. I was do a whole bunch of do a whole bunch of videos just me telling jokes out of like a kid joke book from the library, just with no pants on. There you go, just shirt talking. To happen to have Dick. Talk it, Bro, this is a long jokes. Put some Google eyes on my balls and look like snuff, a Laffaus. Okay, stuff along. Yes, looks like a Google for assuming it would look like an elephants drunk. I appreciate the photo confidence. How come like every Dick looks like how come Cephalo, this looks like a long penis with Iball goodly, I don't know, snuff logs Fu yeah, no, I haven't imagined stuff like his. fucking somebody like it be where. You should see Dir weird to seekus. Wasn't his whole thing that he was like big bird's imaginary friend prop so you just just fucking rail's big bird at night. You just see big bird getting fucked doggy style, but you can't see what's fucking him. You think he's having a sex dreamers.

Ah Ah Dam, they are not flogist. What can fist in making him a poppet? Suck me Tay. She's correct. Wow, I come. Let's get whatever I'm still gonna finish a very tell you I if they ever get robbed at work. This is my I don't know if I ever said this, this is my goal. If I ever get robbed, I'm just going to get naked immediately. I guess. Is What you want. This is what you want, right, like, if they get like because a they're be like, what the fuck? Either're a they're gonna leave or I'm going to live out a fantasy. What the other? Oh Jesus, just just sit there, just just everything, take off everything but your socks. Yeah, we like. Are The socks? You might if I leave the socks on? Or do you want to my toes get cold? It's I got. I gotta put that. I always wanted to do that on stage. I think I might be a good joke. I would. I would do that. I would give that a shot, just if I ever get wrought to try ever get rob get naked, just because I don't really have like. I've thought this since I was like fourteen. That's how fucked up I am as an individuals a little fuck. Hopefully somebody fucking skills from my lemonade stand so I could good. I don't know. So I finally I'm caught up on there's only two episodes of moonnight. Oh, you watch moon you watch both, my mom, but it was great. So good man, it's great. Like I'm like, Oh shit, I don't know. People have complaints about it or anything. I do I'm not that I've heard. I haven't heard any compositis. I don't know anything about moonnight. So I think that's part of why, because he's such a niche fucking character, most people were watching it. Don't know anything about it. So then I can see you be like, well, not anything like it's nobody cares. When I watched I all that and I watched the first episode Halo and I was like this is actually really good, is it? Yeah, like I'm like people, if it isn't follow lure like the tea, I'm like whatever, right. I feel like Halo fans also like star. I got a Starar Fan and Halo Fan. But likes are like stars fans. They want everything to like perfect. I'm like yeah, dude, if it was perfectly one is a video game ever like ever good to go on like TV or movie? It that it's never the best we've had is sonic, the hedgehog. Yeah, and think about that. Yeah, it's not. You gotta do different stuffs and create like people. I complain that they show his face. Is Like I didn't give a fuck. Shows facing the first episode, like people been wanting to know what his face looks like. Is the first fucking game, and now you get it to go. I don't know, you when it's shut the fuck up. Yeah, I always good. I actually fairly enjoyed it. I was like, okay, that makes sense. I've heard like mixed things from people and I'm you're a bigger Halo Fan than I am, so I am not really too invested in seeing it. It's one of those things like they've been talked about were going a halo movie since I was in high school, and at this point I'm like, Oh, cool, they finally did something. Yeah, no complaints. I was like this is good. I thoroughly enjoyed it, so I'm going to watch the other two whenever I can, but no complaints, Moon night, no complaints. I was just like this is good, cool, it's great. I just watched all of Batman, the brave in the bold on HBO Max. It was like this three season more geared towards kids animated series, but it had some had some really good shit. There's like an episode where like Batman tracks down the guy who killed his parents and they actually have like like Kevin Conroy's the voice of one guy. Mark Hamil's the voice to somebody, like they bring back like some some og people. Adam West is his father, the lady who was catwoman in the SIS is his mother. Huh De Drech Bader's Batman, which is just fucking fantastic. It's weird but fantastic. John Damggio's like half the voices really, including Aquaman, who's like the best part of the fucking show. Yeah, Oh man, yeah, it was. It was fine. It was can't be as fuck. It was super campy. But do you ever watch Omni man? Sounds familiar. It's like...

...an Amazon original. I've US first episode. I've watched like a bits and pieces, though. Is that that? Is that that invincible? Yeah, yeah, I haven't watched that yet. Yeah, it's true. Steps, it's so good. I've been meaning to watch everyone's with tell me it's really good. I've been meaning to watch it. No, what, I haven't yet. Yeah, now it's solid. I need to I want to watch the rest of it, but so fucking violent and so, yeah, I've heard it's basically the boys animated, which, yeah, so a boys animated thing. I need to watch too. Yeah, because season three for that's like this fall. I still never finish season one. Really to you, I think you would fucking love it. No, I love it too. I Love I just like there's just so much. So I was like this is a good this is good. I just can't set my kid in front of it. Now I'm no, okay, watch this, but yeah, you want to have you want me to pay for therapy later? Watch this. Going Back to moon night, fucking Oscar Isaac is so good now. He's really he's fantastic. Stick in it. I love an episode two he's arguing with himself and he's Ay, look, I don't care how bloody handsome you are. Yeah, I hate, I hate how good Ethan Hawk is. He's great. You not like Ethan Hawking? So my issue is that like like three years ago he was doing some interview about like if you'd ever want to do a superhero movie, and he just spends the whole interview just shitting on comic book movies like Shits on Logan, shits on fucking everything, and then he gets cast as I'm like, Oh, so you hate this shit until they write you a check. I mean, he thought his mind. Maybe change his mind, maybe, but it's just kind of one of those it's like fuck you, do you? You did the purge, like the fuck you, dude. That's they probably were like. Somebody probably call him like dude, you did the parts. He was like, you're right, it's true. Yeah, I guess, because he has some movie coming out that year. He's playing like a priest or, some shit's like two thousand and eighteen. I think he did this, but it was so it's one of those it's like God damn it, he's good in this. He's good, he's great. Actually, he's fantastic, really good. But I love all this shit with the mirrors, the Action School, I love the way. I love the stuff with the suit, because the the Tuxedo thing them. It's called Mr Knight. That's from like two thousand and sixteen. Really. Yeah, that's like a really new thing and they still did it differently, but I honestly couldn't give a fuck. I remember reading that comic when it came out I was like they put him in a fucking that okay, cool, and he's like I didn't want psycho Colonel Sanders. I was just like that's it, that's what it looks like. Yeah, but I love I love him playing, you know, goofy little bumbling dude, but he you know, but he's Oscar Isaac, so you know he can do intense really well. Hmm, he's great. He's a great. Pants are great. He's really good at she get emmy nomination won't, but she can. Belo. Should Not gonna Happen. I mean you said for just about fucking any of these. Yeah, should, probably won't. Probably he's good in it. Yeah, so it's because, yeah, so episode three tomorrow or recording this on Tuesday. So only six episodes. It's only say, yeah, thank as I love them. Is it gonna be like a limited series? That I don't know. Yeah, I think it's depend on how the numbers do. I think they pitched as an as a limited series, but I think if it does good enough they could. They could. Depends on what they're going with any of this shit. Yes, true, because this one's really not connected to fucking anything. Yeah, it isn't. Not that we know of yet. Yeah, not that we've seen, but so far two episodes in. Unless you like look for some really specific shit in the background. I've seen some posts online like it doesn't really like they don't mention anything. They don't. It doesn't look come up at all. HMM, at all. Like ever. H The shit with him putting glass at issues is fucked, do you know? It is so weird. I was like, that's so weird. It's that self flagellation shit, like, you know the guys who like whip themselves and shit for their your guys. Yeah, I guess that's what he's that's his version of doing that. It's like so I wonder if it's like he's paying for some sin or whatever, so that on that doesn't kill him or whatever. I don't know. It's fucking cool, though. It's a cool idea, especially because, like when he kicks the ball, you hear the lass in his shoe when he's you do...

...don't. Yeah, yeah, like that's that's that's so fucking good. It's good shit. You think about that. Don't fuck it up. That was it. Batman, the DART. The Batman's coming out a little bit earlier than normal. Yeah, eighteen, yeah, the eighteen. That's dropping on HBO Max. And then I just saw they have the steel book up for preorder on Amazon, which means I have to go drop fifty bucks because I need that fucking steel book. You motherfucker, I'm gonna fucking get it. Yeah, yeah, it was dropping on the eight it's made like over seven hundred million good, which is fucking great. I'm glad it's the highest grossing movie of the year, which will not last once doctor strange comes out, because US spider man was a high of two thousand and twenty one. When a spider man come out again December, dud it was. It was a Christmas fuck. You're right. Yeah, morbious had a good opening weekend and then made like nothing the second week. All mean like, because everyone went and saw it and was like wow, this is bad. Sonic, I guess made a lot of money. Never saw fast week. It's fine, like it's not bad, it's fine. It doesn't take itself too seriously. Well, because mad in a serious song. Yeah, I know. Well, it's sonic the hedgehog. So how seriously? If we don't need a repeat of, you know, fugging Mario from ninety two or whatever the fuck that came out. Man was so bad. But yeah, it just came at but it and I've heard. I've heard just like the first one. It's fine. And then I think they do you. Harry Potter came out. I don't know. Fantastic beats. Dumbledore will seek ause it dumb or is like that. I'm no, already came or it comes out the fifteen, I'll being not going to see it. Marry Potter Fan. Never been a Harry Potter Fan. Yeah, not my thing. That's cool. That's not for everybody. Let's everybody. High School loved it. I was. I feel like I was the only one that didn't. The Basement Lounge and the VIP table are proud to be powered by pod decks. Pod decks of the hottest new tool for podcasters looking to have more meaningful conversations or game afi their podcast. Simply Shuffle Up, ask a question and let the content roll. Get Yours today at pod dexcom and use the codetbl Ten for ten percent off your order. I had to. I had to turn down a sponsorship offer today. Why it was a lady hit me. I want to know if we would if we would advertise for her escort service. Come on. The only reason I rejected it was because at the end of every fucking paragraph you sent me, she was like, by the way, once again, no sex is involved, and I was like, the more you say it, the more you deny something I haven't accused you of. How much are they going to pay? It was for the same it was going to be for the same rate as the as the load bose guys. Really, yeah, God Damn, what turn. Not Hugged my I did, but also the load boost guys are still good further two months and I was like, and I can't take on that much more. Yeah, for tax re for tax reasons more than anything else, if we get more sponsorships off to increase our rate while I really doing that good to have escorts. What are well, we had a big spike last week. Howus do we had? We had like across across the entire show, we had like, we pull the numbers up here, for like an entire week. It was like somebody was going through and listening to like every fucking episode by the escort service. Could be. Yeah, from April first to so it was. It was. It was five, four days, five days, April first to April five, we had almost threezero. What. Yeah, listens. Yeah, like it put it put us over, it put us over tenzero for the whole channel. Listens. Yeah, what. Yeah, let me get the full...

...number here. How many bots was that? And I'm Shi, no, Shit, wow, it. Yeah, they say, well, episodes kicked off or it doesn't. Doesn't say which ones we're getting it. But like I'm seeing like a lot of old episodes from like last year that suddenly have are like in late the top ten and all that. Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to get the full like trying to see where my total streams are out here. And it was from like yeah, and it was from like seve th, seventeen hundred unique account. So it's like a bunch of people were going through and just listening. Yeah, I haven't gotten this month's thing from from good pods yet. So over, it was on their sometime, I don't know. But yeah, from so for about five days people fucking loved arshow what happened? I don't know. I mean because I got last few episodes weren't. Let me sort this. What we do? We did last it was the nuke one, which did okay, I mean the Will Smith Slap one did pretty good. I was that like couple on it, a hundred. I was like, feels like sixty. I see here like our Batman one is still getting views because, you know, Batman, our post super bowl episode, still doing well. I can't out. I fucking talk about we talked about we talked about the fuck super bowl. Oh yeah, that's pretty much all it took. I mean, yeah, I'm going out me. Yeah, we've been a bunch of them just than the last like fourteen days. I mean episodes from I mean watch somebody, some big wigs like listen, this is your motherfuckers. I mean, yeah, going back to we got in the last week. Episodes going back to the beginning of beginning of the year still getting views the streams. So yeah, but yeah, the mores. The more she said sex is not sex is not involved. More I'm like, okay, if you got to keep defending something I haven't accused you of, I'm feeling a little weird. It's also it's weird enough that we that we sell load boost, load boost, and now we're about this Sir Pussy, and then the only fancy. This is very wide it's like who's listening to our show and who isn't getting past the load boost? A. Yeah, it's a kind of feels like y'all aren't getting past the load boost. Dad. You find out there's been like millions of sales on the boost using our promoke. Osh, well, if they are, they need to pay the fuck up, because I haven't gotten the deposit yet. I'm so fucking funny. That's funny as Shit. Shit, man. Yeah, time is it? That's UN nine hundred and twenty. Shit happens. I just today. Yeah, really, was just say, yeah, you're one. If they've ever done a porn, fuck don't a porn. Yeah, that a point. Like Finding Nemo, like a pardy. If Finding Nemo call like Probably Finding Cock, like I'm rob and, and finding nymphos, finding them post yeah, God, I know. There's a left for dead one. Why? Well, that just sounds like narclepsy.

It's it's awful. Wouldn't recommend it. But for dead. Give me a power up. It's called left for head. You guys are you are listening? I'm shaking my head right. Said left for heads. Just why? Well, you know. Yeah, Lord of the g strings is out there. Oh, God, yeah, that's like a famous one. Nice, just not what you think. It's actually a guy who plays at j shing really wellness, it's times plays that one. This is plays the Geno just just non stop. Is the perfect. Is there a Gino? Yeah, I don't see. I know nothing about anything, but I think about it for a second, I, I. I. I felt a playing the recorder because he used my asshole. I think back to like middle school choir. Is egbd. Okay, there's a genoe. Okay, cool, I'm so I'm so bad at fucking music. I put the recorder with my ass. So I'm going to hang a batman outfit in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzeimer's. That's funny. Give it a couple more years in inflation will hit mass shooting numbers. God items good in air friars like the as like of Gordon Ramsey collected the oven, the toaster, the make way of the Crock Pot and the incident pot stones to create the Infinity Kitchen. Lindsay Graham is just Mr Rogers from the Mirror Universe, where he used his powers for evil instead of good and has an incredibly small penis. That's funny. Working retails like the game rushing roulet, except every chamber has pullet in it. I said, as someone with Alapisha, shaving your head seems like an extreme response. That being said, I just got a paper cut, so it just going and take the hand. Let's see here, because I did the Lindsay Graham because he posted this video about how he didn't vote for the lady just got confirmed the Supervit Bady. What do you say? I hear. I'll put your headphones on those. Play the whole fucking video. I mean it's we forgot about that. Uh, we forgot about her. Yeah, oh, that's right. Yeah, we didn't mention that. Shit, wow, we suck. We're such racists. I don't like choose now. I'm just just take that. We've established that. All right. Here's the fucking in the last several years we've had three Supreme Court hearings. The game is changed. Remember Amy, call me, Barrett, how they came after her. Remember. Haven't know. I do. Compare that hearing with what happened to Judge Jackson is ridiculous. She wasn't ambush. I ask her hard questions and she gave bad answers. I voted no to judge Jackson and now I understand why the radical left wanted her so badly. She's a judicial actipist. She gets outcome. She wants no about how the law is written. When it comes to crime. Her record is very, very dangerous. That doesn't work with me. We nominated qualified African American woman. They fill a bus to her without apology, I can assure you, and she probably would be philable. When we ask hard questions of an African American nominee who's liberal, all of a sudden were racist. They destroy conservative judges and expect us to just clap and vote yes. That's ridiculous, dangerous and it is not going to happen. I stand with Lindsaycom. Standon Lindsay dock, stand behind Lindsaycom with your nick out. It's just I guy fucking. As a former South Carolinian, I y'all need to quit vote for this motherfucker. surprize leg how come he looks like a Ham Linsta Graham looks like he's got honey glaze on his nip. Have you ever heard a John of Hers Lindsay Graham Impression? No, it how see if I can find that.

I spell. Is it Lindsay L E Y? Yeah, tweet that. How come DNS Graham looks like a hunting laces hand? I think this is from when you was talk about cabin on little fucking load. Is You too being a bagaddics today? Do Everything Being Bagad Dick say, yeah, youtube is not fucking loading. He speaking at Lynd Eli in L I nd Zy l and D Sey. We felt Lindsay Graham always looks like he's just said that exact phrase. You know, I come into this bow jangles every Sunday, the reach Sunday kind. I have never seen service like this. My chicken is damp, my biscuit is cold, my day is ruined. People, this is a real shit show right here. I will take my order to go to go blusted. So there's this. It was from the cabin on hearing when lendsae Graham was like losing a shit or whatever. He's like, Sirf you came here for a for fair treatment. You came to the wrong damn sentate. I'm saying it. He's such I hate him so fussh and sent it, Lindsay Graham. Graham is a just a piece of shit. Now he's the Shit. Shit, you know what I mean, like shit that a shit took. I feel it Lindsay Graham and mixed McConnell fucked, they'd make the tray. I'll a snail leave. You know what I mean. I feel like both of them get together. I feel like if I feel like if both them gotten a hot tub, what the fuck? Maybe covered in so much oil Gino, Lindsay Graham Mitch mccon I feel I feel like Lindsay Graham hands from Mitch mcconnald's neckline. I got Bat I got bad at night and a fucking caver cases fucking foot up there grabbing she's fucking Christ match mcconnald reminds me. I don't know, I love. One of my favorite things Michael Jade does on weekend update is whenever they talked about Mitch McConnell, they have a picture of him a smile and they'll say he'll say things like ms McConnell seen here at a dog's funeral. Yeah, MS mcondo lasts at the end of Marley. And maybe Mr mcconnald thinks that Schindler's list is a slapstick comedy. It's it's it's fucking great and Joe Biden doesn't remember it. That's a drop for both Shog we both sides of the aisle. I got to retweet that now. That's a that's a that's a bipartisan joke. Yeah, you're all. I'll retweet it with that. Hold on hand. Joom. Biden doesn't remember it. Biden doesn't remember it. As I put in, Joe Biden is remember the ending of his remember it. Oh God, okay, green looks like a place. All right, so I put that and then I'm going to fucking go back and de Leete the old tweet. Okay, so good. I'm so a Dick. What gets people elected president these days? He I hate to tell you this, but you've been eating shit hand, Mitch McConnell, I don't know, just tweets. Bipartisan. Let's. Mccon looks like guy that fucks on the now all right,...

I'm done with MS mcconnald jokes. Yeah, that was good. A while lasted. retweeting that Shit, retweeting your retweeting my retweet. Oh Fuck Yeah, I thought this was a good one, and never feed picks are are this generations baseball cards. It's weird, you maybe, but if you get a Mickey Manal feet pick, it's worth at least a hundred dollars, and if it's a pick up his rookie ear feet, that's at least a hundred. Today the feet pick, it was like the dumbest Shit I've ever like. I was like, where am I going with any of this? Bob Odin Kirk will be getting a star on the Hollywood walk of fame. I surpriably doesn't have one yet. Yeah, seriously, good for him, though. He fucking deserves it. Get Old Bob Owning, Kurt Yea, any of watch finished better called saw like all of it. So Watch first two seasons. First two seasons are great, yeah, but I have watched it all. I love breaking bad so I know. I know. I still haven't gone back and watch the last season and so no breaking that. Yeah, I know. We talked about this. I at once a month. That's right now, because it's bullshit. Is Bullshit. I still haven't fucking done I haven't watched the new season a dexter yet either. Me Either. I haven't done that yet. I'm not paying for show time because it's been so long since I've seen Dexter. Kind of want to go back. It makes me want to go back and Rewatch Dexter, but watch the first three just just fully. The first three seasons, though, because everything after that it's just wait. That last season's unwatchable. Have you ever seen Mitch mcconald's neck? That's what the last three seasons of fucking the last the last three seasons of Dexter make the last season a game of thrones, like the first season a game of thrones. That's true. I keme on him. On Mitch mcconald's side, Miss mccon I mean the amount turtle jokes. They're coming to my brain, or it just I don't know. It's just looks like. I feel like if you would, I feel like if you got hit by a Gusta Wind, Mitch, Mitch mcconnald looks like if like if the Lorax was the villain. Miss mcconnald, Mitch mcconnald looks Linzey Graham and Mitch mcconall walk into a bar. No, wait, it's a gay bar. Miss Miss mcconal's he graham walk into a bar. Wait, it's not a bar's The dudes Dick, it's a Dost Dick. God, that's funny. Whenever Mitch mcconnald does a speech he has to have one of the other sign language people just for his neck. What is your obsession with his neck? It's not just looks a gobblers got. It's like the Turkey neck, the Turkey neck of do. Yeah, George Lucas has that. Yeah, George looks a big fucking neck. Yeah, it's just like, yeah, I feel like it. His neck. Could want run and win against him. You know what I mean? Like his neck is done for more, more, for KFC. We ever need the oil crisis gets any worse, we can just cut Mitch's neck and get some of the grease out of there. Yeah, probably that jokes sounded funnier in my head. It's why filled up with like nuts and fucking fill the busters. Mr mcconnald could's neck is bigger than the word fellabus. Understand he could get the word filibuster tattooed on his neck and still have plenty of room. That's a stupid and new new Roman, new time Roman. Mr McConnell's neck looks like what I imagine Barry Sanders Ball Sec looks like. Okay, Mitch McConnell, it's just a piece of shit. Ritch McConnell is a terrible human being. It's kindle's neck keeps...

...on getting bigger's everything. It's the fucking, it's the amount of kids that should have been aborted. But we're also, God, did you have it? Oh my God, every time, every every time, every time a child is abandoned instead of a boarded, he is neck gets a little bit bigger. Yeah, by here his State to Mars mean as big as the White House is long. His neck has its own twitter feed, Mitch mcconnald's is his neck is verified on twitter. Okay, the Gobbler, Mitch is gobcom. Miss McConnell uses his loose neck skin to jerk off. Lindsay Graham, Oh God, calls it a neck job. It's called the Italian neck job, not Italian, I like. It's store like a whole bottom of Italian tristy. Still have room to toss this. Do you understand? Can Use it as a towel to dry the dishes. Yeah, what is a missing van? It's it's one of like drips during sex. It's like that. He's all sweaty above his wife and like just going at it like like like he would like he fought in Vietnam or something, and I saw sweaty and just dripping down his neck and like it just pulling out the very bottom and it just fucking Oh, we're there's a there's a legend that if you touch it you get three wishes to three part three pardons if you if you stroke, if you stroke it, you, you, you win three through swing states. It's Oh Jesus. He just says they're just grab my Guy Luck Ian in the eye, make our contact with me while you do what it like actually like he's a dire person that whenever you has sex, one of his eyes goes off. Whenever your Orgasms, his fucking net flops out like the like the fucking dinosaur, and fuckings are aunt. Well, they both spit acid. So.

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