The Basement Lounge
The Basement Lounge

Season 2, Episode 24 · 6 months ago

Kyle Hates 'Star Wars'

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

You read that right. Special guest Kyle Steele (The Movie Review Hour) hates Star Wars...with a passion. Plus why did it take so long for everyone to realize Joss Whedon is a jerk? 

This week, Mike & Mike (and Kyle) talk about:

  • Kyle hates 'Star Wars' and that's...odd.
  • Joss Whedon is not a nice person.
  • Why are amateur porn stars always watching Disney movies?

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Hey everybody, if you would like to getmore involved with the show and become a VIP of the basement, lounge just headon over to our website, TB, l, pod Dot net and click on the become a VIPbutton that will take you over to our patron, where you can join and become aVIP and get access to all kinds of cool features. Things like guest interviews,early released episode, a special private R SS feed for your podcast APPand so much more. Every contribution helps us grow the show and to somethingnew and more exciting, so join the patroon today go to our website, t blpod dot net or go to patron COM; a TB underscore pod and become a VIP today.This episode is powered by pod. Decks, go to W dot, pod decom and use the codeT bl ten to get ten percent off your purchase at check out. Once again,that's W pod decom. Welcome to the basement. Lounge podcast, with yourhost Mike Shay and Mike Walls, sit back grab a drink, relax, let's see wherethe time takes us enjoy. By the way, Christopher plummer starves out ofmusic, he hated the sound of Music Day. Really he hate him. It is hated he justlike what is there to hate. Just like. What's his face hated star wars, I hateStar Wars, Thou fuck, you get the fuck out of my house. Well get the fuck outof the house. You help hard pass hard, sweat star Trek. I don't think I've ever I watched like okay, which one's trek gets now. There's there were movies that I reallyenjoyed one. I know something with sea world.That's a abbot now that Wappen, that was star trek for I watched a bunch ofthose movies and I like really enjoyed them as a kid. I still, I think, most of them stillholding up, don't watch the odd numbered ones. The odd number the onesare all terrible. Okay, so I don't I mean on one three and five of theoriginal movies are all gard. To be sure, you don't have to worry about it,because I will never wath them again, but yeah, but you've watched everyNicholas, cage or art as for the sake of art, so youneed to separate the art from how big of a piece of shot, but you didn't make the movie nobody made the podcast you're correct: okay, Winter Winter Fuck. We were talking earlier because I hadmentioned that you had finally seen the Snyder cut yeah and it was just what Iwas saying was like how like talk about a guy who's, probably never going towork in Hollywood again: Fucking Jos, Weeden, yeah, yeah yeah, with theallegations against the an well o bad, almost a way it was like it took yeah.It's like he has all these allegations gets him and he keeps working and NeberGot Y. has this joke? We? He says I like how I'm not even a comedian, andI keep referencing other for so many comedians. I Love I love common. Ilisten the comedy all the time I was listing his in the cow Canadi Oway here.WHO's, like one of my favorite comics right but neber got see, has a joke.Where he's like he's talking about like have his mom hiring a one leg D J to dothe wedding and he was like you know, I saw he had one leg and like it wasn'tthat weird he's like until we started messing up and then I was like does hehave one like, and it's like, I thought of that, like in the Joss Weedon casewhere it's like. He has all these allegations until he makes a movie thatis just universally hated and then everyone's like I should maybe he is asexual predator. You know like I. I don't know why it took that foreveryone to be. Like you know, maybe that is true, but it's like that's howit works like until you start fucking up everyone's like Oh yeah yeah, Iguess e with every every shot at what every shot you have of wonder. Woman inyour movie is of her ass people start to go. I mean it's Nice Joss, but Imean she's, fine, his house yeah, that's like that's a nice ass jus do anbe wrong, but I don't need it to be the center of every sho sor. You know onceI'm making a homemade porno with her. But yes, that's that's different. Theweird thing that should just be under the balls that speaking about me, I love homeshes porn and homemadeabsolute, oh yeah. We toupin like they're starting to get some fakeamateur polite. He Tell Atsito that show on a cellphone, no KIA shitexactly to make a pixel em support used to be Tommy Lean, Pam Anderson on aboat with you know back then a camera that wasprobably the Yah. This it took two hands to fucking Hole, O sure how theypulled. roags like I am Raturan. I like it my Harhas Amasti, because it's likerelatable, like the guy kind of looks like me, the chick looks homelysomebody I'd fuck Bob is playing in the background. That's relatable shit there was. Therewas one that there were an. They were definitely had Maana on Oh yeah. I'vewatched an a fore before I'm like. I...

...know that fucking. I remember thatbaseball game. She is really good at sucking to shit.Are they watching the show Shangaan? I was like a play and then I'm nowthinking about like they're, fucking filming this and the fucking kid islike out in the living room. Are they just watching motion or day like mantrying to make it me you want to Malison like I owe, gets her fuckingwet man. I see I only fucked a coco, so it's Armagh people would get turned up.My I like I've watched some stuff. I was like Oh yeah. I remember that gameor like yeah that was like this is film like a year ago, as we already get amillion views good for you, you're, making your money there's one word inthem level. What I watched for like girl girl, was blowing a guy like at amovie theater and then also I can hear the gets real queen her in the movieand I'm like they're a beauty in the beast right now there are kids in thatsteerer do dude. I fucked in the movie theater one time:Oh Yeah Yeah, I'm so glad my wife doesn't listen to this yeah. I fucked that movie theater. One time Iwas was King Kong, like the riginal pome. I always remember that Shit, OhGod, there's like hingland movie, so I it was crazy. It was wild. I've neverdone that. You can fuck during that movie and not miss anything becauseit's so God damn love. No, I mean it was low, ething up a little bit, neverfucked in a movie. To always remember that Shit, a fucked, a lot of places I play some up proud of it was it waslike I looked over and I was like. I almost saw your letter manjack for someYahia we at the local bar right now. What is he's like I fucked a lot ofplaces. I don't feel proud of any of them fucking car over neck chain, stuckin his chest, hair I used to have I fuck over the mountains ever fucked inthe Bungy cord wraps around your neck, so way an come. I'm Truigha s wherethey tell you therapist ways. Now I just I don't know, I remembershining fucking, a Kong and then is so I feel really bad, so I fucks him chickcome and her fuck and then I want to go see the movie again with somebody else, because me in this chicken e stoptalking like after that, like I was like this isn't going to work out. No,I know I can't remember it. I can't remember why we stopped talking, butthen, like a week later, I want to go so move t somebody else, mycold and I was like that is still boring. Yeah you're, just like I justlike the idea that you're like it worked the first time that I was tryingto go work again. You know, like I wasn't trying to eat at the second time,although that would have been hysterical yeah. Well, you wasn't oneof the first time like man, the movie was really good, see. If I got lashalong a maybe my perception was Alverd. Let me go see it again. It turns out Iup up in Shit. No, that's good, that's not as good at when I'm not getting ablow job while watching it. Fuck turns out blow jaws, make a lot of moviesbetter. They do it's true. Oi have the fucking thought process of a eighteen year, old,yeah for sure I'm thirty, I'm thirty, two going on seventeen most days, I'll,be I'll. Be Thirty! Two in what let's say eight days, I'm the oldest one.Here, thirty, two and eight days Holy Shit. Are you you, the oldest one here,thirty five fuck? To be fair, you look younger than certainly me. You LookYoung. You look like you're, the youngest one here yeah you look at it,then you as it's, because, like marriage hasn't totally suck the soul.I have no idea. I just think I'd well, you're, not a big drinker, I'mnot a big drink! Er Yeah! I know I have a Burbon but yeah. I know this is onsay you don't really drink that much I've age like gas station free an like.I got servant in the fridge. Just my age, like Michael Jackson, was still fuck me that a Michelese my face got a little babyface a shave, my nuts, because clearly I can't be in pure. I you shave yourface right now. You would look like you are, I know so I've always. I have agood story about this. Oh true story, it's not it's! Not It's not like a bat.It's not a disgusting hit. It's funny, though I was in when I was in the army,our major who's in charge of her office. She was Super Super Nice to me and wecouldn't like no one ever knew why and she was really attractive and they werejust like a like. There were literal questions of like. Are you fucking likewe don't get it like she's, so nice to in so many everybody else so fastforward to it's my birthday, and I think I was turning twenty two, I'mpretty sure I was starting twenty two and somebody said like what do you dofor twenty second birthday, because it's like because I turned twenty onein basic training riding is Sullen Acton for his birthdays. Like Oh, yougon to like Sell Away Twenty Second, twenty first and she's like you're, nottwenty two I was like yeah. She was show me Your Id. I shut her, myide and she's like...

Huh. How much you are forty from map moment on she was so fuckingmean to me really. No. He thought that I was just this like older guy join thearmy like late in life, trying to make a better life for like myself or myfamily, or something and as soon as she realized. I was just a twenty two yearold kid all of a sudden. She was super fucking mean to me, so I was like Shitbut yeah. I've always looked supertales, the guy that at sixteen would getpeople beer like that was always me. I had I had a chick at a bar straight up,stopped talking to me when she found out it wasn't as old as she thought Iwas is when I was like twenty three I could she didn't she didn't want to.She didn't want to be a panther. She was only like, like two or three yearsolder, the older than you, and she- and I was I just mentioned- that I was ontwenty three she's like no you're, not I showed her my idea. She was likeexcuse me for a second and she got up from the table and I never saw heragain the rest of the fucking. That's were as like, but you drinks bitch havea conversation with me. At least it's a real, weird ha, obviously old enough to be here notlike I'm million ten year olds in a fucking trench coat hi armata account number seven th. I can real quick want to mention becausewe're at almost to the end of the month of April here, so our sponsor pod deckis doing a their monthly giveaway, which is a pair of sure, SR H. Fortyfour forty professional headphones with retail, a hundred and twenty bucksthey're amazing set of headphones so head on over to a pod decom. You guyscan use the COT l ten to get ten percent off your check out or you jointhe pod decks at for and enter in. There and I wanted to brink becausewe've been talking about some fucked up shit here. I wanted to change the topic just a little bit tofrom their. How dare you deck if you choose a way to die? What would it be snap around from fiftyfive thousand yards away, just the most epic fucking death? No, I don't. Icould choose a way to die. I mean I don't know about the way of dying, butlike I'd like to just die O my sleep choose a way of dying, Granta thought o style. Do you want togo on a Blan, a blaze of O fuck you? I don't. I just want to just fucking Keelover like a hard attaco candid Mike to HolyShit, just so much cocaine that it dwarfs just the fact that you weredoing cocaine, because it's such an impressive amount of guess I want I'mgonna, be like that's Gi want to be like the M scar face. I want to go outyeah. You want to be like it's fucked fucking Ron, Burgundy, I'm not even mad.I'm impressed yeah, that's how I want to die. Just back and a scar face amass, an talk about another really overrated movie scar face yeah fact:It's not great it does. I don't think it holds up, but it's just Insti sawthe S. I was like okay, Fuck Coo, but I was also on a eight years old Yah. It'sone of those like adults should not be as jacked about the movie as they right,but it's it doesn't hold up. I don't think I mean like Al Pacini's great init. The movie itself a yeah, but it's also a remake of a move from the ties.So is it now it's a room make of an old like Italian gangster film from theties call God a face, we're talking about doing another remake of it with I from Regan, Diego Luna E, about thethe Mexican cartel. We like I'd, watch that all right, I'll watch good cartelmovie. What's that one called my what a carTom Mexican Mexican scar face of a carvell Italian yeah, I mean Italian Spanish- arepretty similar languages, see see who was your celebrity crush growing upKyle my celebrity crushit one, the one that helped you experience your firstdirection. Boy, probably the I think, the firstmovie away. That's really weird! The first movie that I like paused andjacked off to was Kate Hudson in type to t. That was the first movie that Ipaused and was like. It was like a vhat. I was Latsami, Hudson Hi talking about what what's her name:Calkins, sick, kate, Hudson, okay, win Kay Huson's hot, but that was the firstone and I remember it was. It was a vs because it was theDouble v ever that the vs tape- and I remember when you would pause on a vhy.You get the lines Oh star, so I'd have to pause it just right to where thelines were coner titties there was. There was a trick to that. If you justheld the pause button, the line movie...

...yeah, because I could let your go tolot of me because mine mine went on Internetuntil the like early to sand and it's exactly true what even when we did. Itwas like Yeaes like when a robot comes mine was that I can remember her name,but the scene in under siege the the stolons of the caste first hitI receive my love, is the first move, you jacked off to have you jacked offto a movie a really Jack off to me, like I said, but I doesn't like watch port O we'retalking about that. As now, I has a twelve year old year. Whatever wasnever decked off to I mean the first time I jerk o busy fucking his babysitter. You know now needn't have a babe. My parents were good parents,they left us alone. Do was the baby sitter e fucked, the? No? I never. Idon't know man. I never watched really like movies. I was like Oh there's a tit,but I wasn't like or of my rection is aroused a pleasure myself. GNA come all over this place. I want afucking Kate. Hudson Winsley come I'm just Goin to come on thefucking screen. Oh yes, s, a facial nor you about to because those were the days of just Ijust just belly come and you just give belly comes put the shirt right over itand just move all ye man just move off with your time when you like jerkingoff and you like, Fuco, get it on your shirt. Like I got to change my shape, ayeah wait, I'm going to Walmart, I don't have a yeah, I never! I don't know. I NeverReally Watch pon. When I was a kid, never watched. I never watched any ofthose mid type of M. I don't know so. I decide which store I'm going to basedon the amount of come on my shirt that I look down like no come, I'm going totarget, we no count on targets a strictly no Como Yeah Buck. If I got adollar general come on the face, I'm going there to Cockie. Do you guys got any of that? Her pieceman? You got any paper tastes all the paper.Talent feel like a or take away a warm ham soap and throw it on my face. What's the see hottom machine, Oh God,I've never seen that move er! You have to it's. Okay, subjectively, a bad movie,no scar face, but it fuck's fucking Hilarious, but like rob, cordery andand Craig Robinson, like they lost this huge fucking bet, and so they tells him that he has that rock cordhas to blow crake Robinson in the Bar, but then they pass out. So they don't remember things so whenthey wake up to fuck with him, grocer takes a bunch of soap puts on his face,as is Crick robins and he's like we go. You do hit what he eteoneous one more question:What more of these kyle? What's an unpopular opinion? You have, oh boy, what's an unpopular opinion. I haveother than that other that you don't like scare that I'm willing to share introuble. That's the real question is not popular Pinion, I'm going to Sharinpublic, I'm popular. I mean I absolutely detestor wars. That's that's! That's that's! I think. Well, sort of most star Horse,I think pretty much every movie was bad. My favorite ones were seven and eightwells. I thought I'm doing that. Stewy nine I like enjoyed the ninth movie,but it also is just like riddle of plot holes in just like they're. Introducingnew shit to the universe was really bizarre. The worst star wars movie andit's not even close- was the the first one like the literal firs, the yeah newoanes. No, no, you no like. I hope that was the worst one and was even close.That movie. Is God awful? It's not a here's. The thingit's not just bad for Star Wars. It is a categorically terrible movie. So ifyou want my unpopular opinion, it's star wars is fucking, terrible. Theonly reason why anybody still watches it is because of nostalgia and if the sthe movies were made right now, even with the same goddamn plot lines, theywould be just a shitty and nobody would likethat. My favor, my I hate the name. Kilheim steel, Remington, kyle, T god Daneau you far. So people don't like Star Wars,it's ten. It is what it is some some people I may worse than new hope, but Istill in a minute is way. Mmore...

...enjoyable, I mean that's, that's thesecond worst, but no one was I more enjoy well you're a stores fan, thoughI still think the worst one, I'm not what I so like. I guess my thing islike, like you, you're, not a fire mean just like you're, not a fan of eatingshit yeah, you I mean you don't eat as clear. The worst one to me is attack at theclos. I think that is bar Ni. I thought that was actually a pretty good one. Asfar as that's the second one right M, a the second one like in a Merseburg,that's episode to. I was pretty good and the third one was in a fantom and Ihate the panamans. I hear most people say that they think fan a Mesith. Onlysavings fan of men ice is the is light. SAPER fight, Oh yeah, you get LiamNeson as a Jedia in of itself like elevates the Bilian yeah that that lastfight that whole sequence with yeah them taken on Darth fucks. Every thingabout that is, you could actually get a spoiler on. So the when Panamans cameout, they released obviously the sound track for the fan of menace yeah and onthere was quigan funeral music and you're like Oh. Even for the movie cameout. You know, Quigan dies anyways, sorry it so it they do that Shit. Allthe time I mean, but also that move had a bomb fucking sound track. I mean thatthat that music, that plays the duel, the face name that plays when they'refighting, that's a not that do at that that that o s fucking her do that come out. Nuanetsi Evans is popular after that.After that I can fuck yourself. Okay, you saw I was going with that o Fuckinused to like. Oh, of course everybody did a yeah. I was there's also bandthat that was called twelve stones. I, like twelve stone yeah. They had thisday. They had a song and I'm trying to remember what I what the song wascoming broken. That was a really good okay, yeah, but cause cause Av. There'slyrics on my locker Ali to to the oos, put a new EP at last last year, and itwas fucking. A man is still good, still good, O the AH. He really good voiceyeah, but even he's taken it, but he's he's the male voice and wake me up onso that for forts one bringing the were this like established like the likethey were Chris. They were a Christian rock man and a mule. The time was stillriding that horse because she was like determined to make evades. As aChristian band. You never fly leaf. Oh Yeah, I yeah talk about a fucking Christian band who,like would go to big metal festivals and then stop their concert dead topreach the Bible for ten yeah's real. She was really hot though yes, she was.She just did a song with breaking Benjamin two years ago. Pretty Binjaminreally underrated, I don't like all rock, but I think they are run ear.They are my favorite. What's up song is so cold this so go. I songisinger. There's one there's an! I think this song is called like skin it's onan early album. It's so good, like it's kind of Pop Punky, a little bit verygood. They were on a high, is for a bit and because the singer bent, he like hewas a hard core alcoholic and end developing. What's called Watrin you onwhat web brain is, is basically a condition where you've done permanentdamage to the parts of your brain that are affected by alcohol. So he kind ofalways seems like, like he's got slightly sword. Speech doesn't have thebest coordination, so it's like he's, so it seems like he's drunk but he'sactually not that's why the the cover for their one, album dear agony, is abrain scan. That's his brains, Gan hmm, but they went on hiatus after that andhe came back with a new band in twenty fifteen and they it's almost like grownup breaking Benjamin now, like yeah, I saw them live they're, so fucking I'veseen them like four times since I came o voice saint something. I can't remember that ban. I know whatyou're talking about, because that's that is the the well the because some of the I some ofthe guys who are in the band used to play for Adalides way. Yeah I play for,I think stained a couple of the cess Mustang bring up yeah me too. Nofucking give me shit about star. I mean fucking Star Wars, an as tweet I likegrew up with it. So I was like when I was real young was when dysfunctionswas popular as much obble, great fucking and then break the cycle comesout after and it's like it's a little less heavy, but still has that angst,but also shades of gray comes out a lot less anx, not happier and like I'm likegrowing up with the music. Only that, but like Aaron's voice was one of thosefirst times. I remember like really because at that time I was like well,it's fucking heavy and screaming and growly I like it. That was one of thoseHurst Times where I really got to enjoy the heavy with him e. That guy is anmamas. He really does, and he still does, even though he's a fuckingcountry, singer yeah weirdest ever, but there is rocker made at work, though I like, I like his country, Shit Yeah,but as I was also a huge Tutia, so yeah. Actually when I was living down south afriend of mine, graduated from because I'm from Columbia, which is where you,the real US C is fight. Carolina yeah...

...taks over like were for Jackson, isyeah. That's right went to high school. I was staking her with Jackson. Judy inthe blowsh was formed at University of South Carolina, and so a friend of minewhen she graduated College Darry Shaker, was a commencement speaker which wasreally fucking cool, there's actually a street in downtown Columbia called who,in Bluefish Boulevard Yeah O. my commencement me sure was so no. I hadnever want to a yeah. Exactly Yine was some. I don't know how the where theflukey found this guy. He was this like sixty year old dude, who never went tocollege. So Great Guy Getico had like owned a series of businesses throughouthis life, all of which had like gone under on Belle, but he keptstarting new ones of his whole speech was about how like, but I never gave upso they gave him his honorary bachelors and I was like it was cool that you haddomel trump to your damn, but I mean he's a kid on, butreevin like yeah, not a great pick for a commesse. Would you fucking choosethat I to college in a little tiny, fucking middle of nowhere, Mormon townin the backwoods of South Carolina? I went to college for a someters SinClair's like no, not for me. No, I like good grades in high school too.So I was like my parents, like you fucking, stupid or something I tudecollege is not for everybody. No fact. No! It's not, but my little brother isa fucking genius like we'll go far in the sciences, and he is hating collegeright now, he's sure got a full he's, got a free, full ride to can state andis doing really well, he hates it. He hates the structure of it. It's justnot it doesn't. It doesn't work for every every brain type. That's a wordfor sure e brain type, thou about going to college, for it was like riding orEnglish or whatever just English major or something like that and like yeah, Iwanted to get a BEFA. I look like that. That's Er finer, like like a writingDASHA's. Why? I never heard my pelage. I want to do a creative writing. DEGRE!That's when I wanted to go to, but is like because, like I had a long periodof time, I was like yeah. I really want to do comedy, and then this is before Igot in the comedy. So my head, I was thinking like you, don't go to collegethe right jokes sure that was. That was my thought process for his that's. Whatwhen I took time off school, that was my thing too was like I'm going to dothe comedy thing and then that will go go well then I want to go back toschool. That obviously didn't work out that way, but but I will say like a lotof experiences I had I'm glad I had them, because now they help feed in the into my comedy yeah. Isay my comedy have been on stage in a year and a half I haven't told a joke in years. It'sjust this is a weird times. Gran is well my war schedule sucks, but yeah I mean I mean in all honesty likeeven before I went to college. I was thinking because when we had career day,like my presentation was I wanted to be a comedian like that was. That was my,which everybody was kind of like how you on to do a presentation on that Isaid I won't find a fucking way, even if I had to just stand up there and dofive minutes for the climate. One Way I create mice Col, I was just like Iain't now. No idea what the fuck I wanted to be. I was like alive likeseriously like I mean, like you're total, to get like know what you wantto be by fucking eighteen, the weirdest one we had was this random quiet kid inthe back of the class who never fucking talk when you can do his Mobilian, hesaid he wanted to be concerned way. This is going o. You should be becausehe said he wanted to be an F, bi or swat sniper and like had like broughtup like his his sheets from the range or he just had like perfect grouping onthe chest, and I was just kind of like so the kid that never talks yeah wantsto be. Nobody else concern just me. Okay, all right! This is concerning hereally like Columbine Yeah did he complain that no girls wanted tofuck him? Was that actually yeah got I've been waiting to see this kid'sname pop up on the news for plan fifteen years man, Jesus fuck yeah as I never now, Cru wasdefinitely something that I was just like. I don't know like. I still don'treally I mean comedy, but like Isota career I mean it can be, but like notright now I m an I got into real estate three years ago. Oh, I had no idea likewhat I was really want. Not Me. I was a para legal before that, but I hated itright. He really didn't know that yeah. I was partly before that. I knew Ididn't want to do it, but that's pretty much. All I knew was a sling dope dude.That's to make your money fuck bitches, my wife Tell Dick Joe Yeah. I go for the Yeah Jesus. You gofor the Guy, I'm just a failure late. The maze that I'm married did. I have that it's that doesn't go away. E I've beenwith my wife now for over ten years that that feeling of like how, as likeas the single guy in the room, I look at the two of you and I'm kind of likeOh there's, hope for me yeah. I know,...

...there's yeah, that's how you say:That's how you should take it yeah, it's wild. I will just do the dumbestthings and be like I have three children and awife. Whatever then she's, like I don't knowyeah that problem. She is no fucking idea either. She'll. Look at me and belike an. Why are you married to me? It's like I bring question. Yeah T S, awonderful question. We probably shouldn't ask it because I've beenquestioning at myself, it is fucking word. I never thought I get marriedagain same it. I did your married, no ER, HUH COMER! No, I know you'remarried, I didn't know you were divorced, I'm not oh! I was in. I was saying. I didn't thinkthat you'd be able to get married. The five o one over my fun put. We got adrop there. It is that's what happens when I hang myself. Now, that's going to be it's going tobe that so at I open the door and that's what Ianeath talked about like when he dies. He wants them to attach his body. Tothat thing, was it to he wasn't Nick Warson it was tash. Was a Tosh yeahwait just like yeah. Is he just wants his body a just, be like o yeah yeahyeah, that was Tosh, and then they have to do the volleyball with his head,Yeah Fuck. You Watch way too much count. Ido a lot comedy a W. I would never do. I will never do. Okay, I won't saynever. I've said I will never do stand up a lot I haven't recorded. I saidthat I a lot hard pass of the words you use. I did. I have been persuaded to enter into this year's all you doing. I work dating Dan reelerthat thing yes to do it whiles every year they didn't do it last year. Iguess they're doing it this year. I think I might do it. So I guess they'lllink me up with a comic who can help me write and all right. Well here, Ye seeI'll. Tell you the jokes. I wrote today this the past few days. If I had abinge watch, my life I'd kill myself, so I get done faster health's good. Iget a full season out of this one, that's good! That's I still the wrongway. Last night, I woke up with a sore back and thirty five negative thirtyfive dollar in my bank account. It's considered. Penis reductionsurgery want to change your name from Richard to Dick Think about that he's gonna get him outof your head. Rice, okay, yealm bills are set up on auto decline, an pay your water bill fuck. Now I really like Bourbon chicken withoutthe chicken and a banana without being reminded in a too I did so many perhaps of those at rich woman, water breaks, it'scalled a fice feed. You want it's called F G. I don't know when what let's see when a rich woman's waterbreaks, it's called fig water. The problem is you started with areally with a Banger, I know so now, I'm just comparing everyone to that. Ilike to consider Peni reduction one and the auto decline. Does my hand. It is like a doctor's isreally bad, and so it makes sense why no one can read my ransom notes. That's good! I text my ransom notes byhate textilis. My Dad, that's good! You know I want to thank my parents arewasn't for them. I didn't even finish that I wont tell me to record less andI was appalled, I'm against animal bees. Pressure. That's been done before this is the I'm going to change my nameto church Amazon, so I don't have to pay taxes. It's good! It's good! I like that I'd text, I'd text, myransom notes by hat text. In my dad- that's a good one. So I do the wholething, though, should it be like my handwriting is like a doctor's. It'slike a doctor is really bad, so it makes sense why no one can be my ransomnotes like Di text, my ranch notes by Hate Texina Dad now I think just thesecond part. I think I think just the because it's a really, especially ifit's jammed in somewhere, where just makes no sense, because that's kind ofyour style anyway, where is like there'll, be like a pause and then youjust fit a liner in there, so that listen to the I'll never be a comic,giving joke writing advice. He asked I would never give so well,I'm going to keep the if I'd had a binge watch. My Life, I kill myself, sothat is fucking fantastic did not get a full season or yeah. All my bills is upon auto decline. I think that's hysterical. I like the Richard DickJoke. I don't give a shit, he I keep it...

...and keep it every. Every comic has thatone joke that we love that nobody else is quite on board with, but we tell itevery fucking show anyway, people really worried that robot to replacetheir jobs. I really hope a ro out places mine, I'm tired of giving outhappy endings, it's a hey crime when he hit a Pinatawith a baseball bat. No that doesn't make any sense a any say. I love this. My Buddy Zackdoes this. He r he just writes down like these kind of things, or he hasthese like kind of one lenter stuff, yeah and he'll just go through him andhe'll like he'll. Do the same thing: he'll go he'll, read it a go! Thatdoesn't make you self! I love it. I go the next one and the I do this on theshow, because then I get to watch Mike's Twitter feet. The next pay. Howmany of these make it? The twitter? My wife and I are nothing like she's a Vand I want a divorce. Don't give me the ultra sound machine.Give me the good sound machine. It sounds just as good, and that isexpensive. I smoke a pack of candy cigarettes aday. That's why I'm addicted to method doesn't mean my grand first, so mygrandparents are so supportive. They subscribe to my only fans, larding a Igot my hair cut. My mom didn't recognize me because she gave me up foradoption. Thirty five years- that's good there. It is that's the one! That's good shit, yeah, that's the onethat was on. I was never going to tell on stage either, but I might I like notyou got to bring that one on you guys are also really like dark humor, and Igot to figure out. That's true. Well, I think other people are you actually forreal topping mean tacking O my dad did, O my God yeasecond marriage took his last name kind of thing more, like just got legal justgot legal, okay, yeah. I wish I was adopted, so I was at de the same thing why my mom gotmarried. My Dad legally adopted me. I remember my mom told me my dad wasn'tmy dad like I was like okay, like its like, took me to Mc Donald'sand like her like a Hag, Ma and she's like by the way, Your Dad's, not reallyyour dad, and I was like that's cool chicken nugget, my mouth yea like justI I I on the ball. It okay, yeah, like yeah. He can't walk he's in a wheel,chair I get it that works yea. His jeans did not go down to me. It was like the weird that was so weirdlike who the fuck does that over chicken nuggets like talk about taking like the best placeas a kid being like it's Goin to McDonald, so I could ruin your life.That's, like the the. I don't know if you watch did you watch the pet, anoswall special when aliae as one after his wife died, and he has it's really really rely to out where hetalks like the worst day, this we yeah and he and he had the advice in therethat I like love where the principal, because he was like how do I tell mydaughter and the principal goes tell her in the sunlight, just tell her inthe sunlight, so he like went out to a park and a park bench. It was likesunny and bright warm and that's where I told her it's like that's a moreappropriate setting here. No one's around you that way. If you have arough reaction to it, and it's also just a like you're, not confined in thespace, you know what I mean when you're getting really shitty information. Thatwas a really good special. It's been the was a lot really good. I kind ofdon't watch comedy specials on principle just because I have found inmy experience. They really fuck up my writing process CA, yea and I wouldthat would suck because I love a lot of well. You know I don't watch a lot of tyeah like Ta, like people, Love Nabaroo,he's funny, don't get me wrong, he's funny. It's just a whole. It so he'spuller opposite of you like no, no a like he doesn't make me go a fee. I mean like N, I think he's funny to like. I don'tever laugh at John, my laney, not once if I laugh at John Milani, he has ajoke. Where he's talking about the Pussy Catch, joke nope? Yes, thatdoesn't do it for me, ther I, as a joke. I think it was on his first album andhe says he talks about he's talked about crime news and he talks about howof the the newspaper. It will always say something like you know, beauty,slain, and then you see the picture and you're like yeah hope just body fat. It's like. I lovethat joke. I think it's so perfect, hasn't I don't that isn't doing for youanti writings, fantastics such a good job. That gets the writings likefantastic right. That's just the delivery method. Just I like also. Ithink that with comedy it's like like there are movies. I will watch that Ithink are fucking hilarious or comedy specials, that I've watched they'rereally funny, but there's something about comedy that, because it's such aninfectious thing, you're never going to have the samereaction watching it byyourself that you would, if you were...

...watching with other people likehorrible bosses, is a movie that is one of my favorite comedies of all time,Kavin spacing out was standing yeah, my favorite scenes with Kevin Spacey I'vegot. I find that like as much as I know, thatmovie is hilarious and part is also goes, is just from being a comic. So Ilook at comedy in terms of how it's written and whether it was clever. Butif I watch that movie with other people, I find myself laughing a lot harder,because laughter and humor in general is an infectious emotion yeah. So withcomedy specials. If I do watch them, I can't watch them alone. Yeah I got tohave so or like, like I used to listen to comedy albums in high school, likeOminate, definitely way better. I mean I always listen to not always, but Iquite often listen to comedy and when I'm in the car, but if I'm watching aspecial, then yeah, I don't think I've ever watched special on my own. Thatjust feels weird when it's also it's weird like, like, I think, neighbor gotSim. He might be my favorite comedian right now, like I'm just I I thinkevery single thing I've ever heard him say is funny like I haven't had like adud joke that I can think of we're. Like John Milani, I can think of DUBjokes in my head that I'm like a this one about not do it for honestly. ForGod, he like he makes me laugh like I don't go to Ha yeah sure and and is litit. What I'm saying what it's like Star Wars right like there are people whoare their entire lives are Crafton and I'm not talking Shit. Their whole livesare crafted around it. They are obsessed and I'm watching it and isgoing like. Why do people genuinely going like? I don't get it, I don't getit and, like I show my friend, Dale and Tucker Verset we're talking aboutbeforehand, yeah. That movie is flawless. That one o makes me a m oneof the most perfect movies ever written. It's written phenomenally. It's actedincredibly, it's hilarious. It still has like a weird crippeled to a conceptis just so, and I showed one of my best friends and, and she was like Ham. Itwas pretty good and you're just like how do you not feel what I feel like? Idon't get it I get to it with a lot of music. Like I know I don't know peoplefrom my generation fucking suck the Nirvana Dick, so bad, I've never been anirvana fan yeah same and it's not one of those things like like I'm not aBeatles Fan, but I get why people like the beetle sure I'm not a Nirvana Fanand I don't get white people yeah. I don't get the same with tool. I don'tget the appeal of tool say I get the appeal of tool, I don't like tool, butI get the almost obsessed with da to carry who's is one of the best driversI was actually to live. I saw what's what there other band. Well, the werenot pusipremnoos circle, perfect circle, yeah, that's the the thing he was. Ialso just kind of hate mayor James Kanon on general yeah sure, but that'sas because I like I worked in the music industry for a number years, so I litMarilyn Manson, I just yeah. Well, I've met Manor James Ken and Ikind of just wanted to kick him in the deck through out the entireconversation. Really just such a self congratulatory like thought, he was thegreatest thing since fucking betty white and I d a buddy that ran soundand Nashville and he had met Danzig and he was just like he is everything youthink he is he's just just the worst he's just like he is just a entitledNapoleon just awful date. I could say I tell you the coolest people I ever metin the music industry, where the the guys and girl and hailstorm nicestfucking people ever o she's, also fine. She she frenched meokay, so this is before they were huge. Okay, I love telling the story becauseI come out as a champion. It was when they were first gettingbaily their first album hadn't even come out yet, but they had played awhole bunch of shows around Columbia, South Carolina he kept coming becausethey were getting booked on everyone's tour as the opener one point there wasa tor was a co headline, tour of shine down a paper Roach and they had comethrough and then they actually came to the radio station and like did anacoustic set there and hung out the so I got I got to meet them, there reallycool. So then they were the opening act on the main stage for this big festivalthat summer and me and my friends were there, we went to their booth to say hi.I didn't expect them to fucking, who remember me or know who the hell. I wasat all, and God, in line the Drummer, the drummersees me and he's like Oh shit, Mike from fucking. I was like yeah yeah,because Lizzie Lizzie, it's my is, she goes. Hi Sweetie grows my face and justfucking, and I was I pulled away and I was like we can go home now, I'm goodI'm, which is s also so crazy, because that's sexual salt, which is really sohad a hundred percent, but it works out in this instance. But, like it's funnylike it's, it was it was, but it's also kind of retroactive kind of like well.She had asked, I would have said, yeah exactly right, so it kind of worksitself out so but but they were also just. I saw them like so many timeswere the years they're Great Cory Taylor from slip not is as fucking Nicea guy as most people would probably go. He says that about him. He's sofuckingfriendly, he's also short, is like fire.

His neck is like mass he's. Like he'san eighteen inch knack Jesus cos. He is the nicest father. When I met him. Hewas behind the table wearing board shorts, flip flops in a fucking fodorand no shirt, and I just like yeah, that's cool. He was the nicest fuckingguy same with the guys undisturbed, David Dream and especially was reallycool. I've met a lot of fucking musicians. I met a person o played a recorder one time I played drums for twenty years, sothey can have a never knew you play it. We posted that the other day I neverknew you played rum. That is impressing. Have you seen the videos now there's acouple videos on things, but nice I'm always impressed people who can playthe as that's. I remember I was watching a pont with you playingdrumore. Everybody knows that fucking yeah, except Mike, Because Mike doesn'twant for now. I know that point: okay, yeah, I just don't really mean now Iwatch porn but not really watch it. I don't know. I can't tell you last timeI wash porn was you're. Married, doesn't matter is don't an that's fucking, weird probably, but I an just like Tis islike so it's probably like such a la probably have such a select fetish.That's like one video with like three views. I like watching women, sit on balloonsand pop them. Now, probably a seven use. I don't know port porn hub is getting alittle too step brother. I lately this debt burn stay off of motherlessbecause sure that's pretty much all that it is that's a fuck is really it'sreally annoying. They just take every video and just title it step broom andyeah, and it's every videos titled that and it's like er say well, not only a video of somebody ordering Wendy and all, but all of them remains thatthe thing has three s e, the ones that a production value like that's. Theplot is like dude fucks, his step sister Du Fu and I'm just kind of likewhen is this become like divorce rates, divorce rates and families get backtogether. But as somebody who is a step brother, I can't watch that Shit. Nothat be makes me it makes me go. I mean ancestor anything if you fuckhere. I get that, but it's still weird for me. It's we it's very weird. No, Imean I totally agree with his it's weird, but it's like be like well, Imean I feel like he's doing. I can say that he's laying a case right now iswhere he thelatha way out on full fucking circle. This is his. I thoughtit was a Daser and a just lot like I thought, you're pussy was a chase sistas, don't shoot me step brother, a your water, she super soaker. If I ever saw one it's just I mean technically, it's notincest, it's a fucking, weird, absolutely, but somebody as I I knew.Okay. The reason why I knows I knew somebody was like yeah. I really wantto fuck my step brother, and I was like that and I was in high school as like.That is weird. That's bongers yeah weird, but I mean I she found her step brother attractiveand I was just like because they literally their familieslike got together during the summer, and I was like Oh, like Blah Blah Blahlike that's going a like my Mary Bah Blah Blah, and I knew the step brothertoo and I couldn't say like I'm not going to say anything you, but it justlike what the fuck is, this shit and that's the thing and that's a dynamicthat you have to consider like if you're getting remarried and especiallydepending on how old the kids an it's like, you really have to consider thatdynamic that you are Pars Getulia's fucked up. As I remember there was awhole episode of that. Seventy show where Eric had this cousin come tovisit and she was fucking, smoking, hot and the whole time he just kind of keptawkwardly like hitting on her, but the whole time red kept saying like I'm nothaving any any eleven toad grand kid, no get the fuck off right, just likewow. This are in the s O me times have a changed. I just wanted. I don't knowlike. I wonder how many fucking step brows and step is fuck or probably alot more common than I think I yes put out a survey on survey monkey and seewhat the result in some people ancer honestly Cheethatn, Ology, so Kay we're just connecting all these weput we'll put it up, will put it out with the next Gallop Pol now wore youvoting for in two thousand and twenty four, and do you fuck your steps atwine on you can figure with the voting for it. I just ninety, I'm pretty liberal, but I Turstin of the people that said theywanted to fuck their own daughters, also voted for donaldtrumpet strange aswho the funk it, because when he said...

...it, they were like not that weird to me I mean I, I play my dilly willing. Oh Jeez, I'm I gonna go there when I'min no that's why I know it's bad yeah, oh Jesus, great m, Loking tothink up the child, like I don't you fuck my baby Oda he's fifty something saying it. I'm just fucking saying, like I seenabout that the other day, I don't know why I was like so if you fuck baby Yoda technically by it's, not big, I mean it's a baby in their terms yeah, butthen life is just a fifty three year old he's in real life he's goingthrough his mid life crisis yeah. I remember there was an episode of Sbu Iwatch or is this girl had this disorder where, like she just basically justdidn't, go through puberty, so she was. She was nineteen years old, but shelooked like she was like twelve and she has his boyfriend who's like twentyfour years old man and everyone's like he's like it's not ye. She looks likethat, but it doesn't make me a PENAFIL. It's like no you're sexually attractedto someone who looks twelve yeah, no you're, fucking disgusting, see that'sand that's a weird one, because it's like the what is it o just look reallyyoung like Andy Milanais, like is his wife, like a Petofi like if he shavesthat beard that dude is not is not look atem, there's! No, it's not a beer.This is called fucking a graph beer. I grow this specifically because Idon't feel like shaking it's. You don't have that's, because you don't have theconnectors, probably yeah. You got to get them connected. If it's the bloodpeople grow Aintit, you know he got rid of everything, but the stash. Then hejust leagues from the S Porne, when I'm all about that he's really into seespoints dashes a real into it. I just down o. He makes his wife wear one inbed like we're like no, no joke serious, not yeah. So like we're so protective about cod. Like I wear masks during sex, it's a Chris Hens worth mass, where I make her wear a robber don, but I come yet either way and that's theend game. Go Me Christopher all right, folks that I'll do it forthis week's episode of the basement. Lounge. If you want to follow US Online,you can follow Mike Wells on twitter and Instar at Mike W T, F wells. Youcan follow me Mike Shay at R, Mike Shay on twitter and Instar as well. He alsofollowed this show on twitter in Instar at t bl underscore pod, and we got abrand new website under construction for you guys with some cool new stuffcoming down the line as well so stay tuned for that in the meantime, we'llcatch you guys again next week with another episode until then has alwayslive well rock on take care and by bye, O.

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