The Basement Lounge
The Basement Lounge

Season 2, Episode 36 · 3 months ago

Online Dating Sux


Has online dating created a sense of entitlement when it comes to relationships? What does Jeff Bezos have to prove? Have you ever felt like you didn't get the recognition you deserved?

This week, Mike & Mike talk about:

  • Online dating brings out the worst in people.
  • Jeff Bezos has small d**k energy.
  • When you do your best but nobody notices.

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Mike Shea - @mrmikeshea

Mike Wells - @mikewtfwells

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A basement, lounge fans is mike shayhere. You know, i never want you guys to have to miss a single episode ofthis show and i'm gonna tell you the easiest way to make sure that youalways have the newest episode ready to go on your phone. If you listen to theshow on apple podcast, just go to the little top corner of our show and clickthat little plus sign or check, mark button and turn on automatic downloads.That will make sure that the episode goes straight to your phone, the minuteit's released, so you guys never have to miss a single episode. I didn't know back pages shut now backpage got shut down, so did the the personals on craig's. Well, we now thatall that, because a not only was that shit like all that revenge born, it wasalso like sex traffic in you, oh sure. Ah, for sure so i mean i told you whenyou know we used to do me. My buddy us to read this craigslist casual yeah.That's! Oh, my god. I missed those but, like you go through him and you readhim like all that that's blatantly yeah yeah, i fucking like this. I don't knowwe're talking about mike used to do a thing on youtube where they would. Itwas called the craigslist book club and they were to read the personal ads likein fucking, robes and chairs. I missed that shit that shit was funny.That show was so funny. I think it's hilarious feel like you should bringthat back for like online dating sites or some shit could i could do fuckingfunny tender. Ten ten book club welcome to the basement. Lounge podcast, withyour host mike shay and mike wells sit back grab a drink, relax, let's seewhere the time takes us enjoy. Lord knows i've seen some shit on toni onelast night i was swiping through and it was like this chick was trying to showhow much of a party girl she was, but i was like her a strip club with, likesome fat, chicks, bovin her mouth, and i was like i'm going to report this one.That's not supposed to be here. Not i t i never did the whole tender thing ever.It's dumb. I at this point i'm letting my memberships expire them deleting theapps. I'm done i'm over it just over days over dating in general man. Yeahlike i've been single, for, with the exception of the girl, i wasseeing a little bit earlier earlier. In the year, i've been single for fiveyears. Yeah and and i've been doing the online dating thing the whole time andit just it's a waste of fucking time yeah. No, it can't be. It definitelycan't be yeah like just like from a realistic point of view. Like theproblem, i part with online dating first thing you do. Is you create this? Your parameters based on what you wantyour perfect fucking person to be a news, flash everyone that persondoesn't fucking exist. He see a hole in the wall yessel. All the only downsideis the dick splinters yeah name that show, and but you create yeah.You create this this, this fake, perfect person and that's what anyonelooks for. They only accept someone who checks all those boxes that persondoesn't exist. I'm guilty of it as well, and it just it's i equated to when when walmart do started, doing theirprice matching bullshit, where you can say hey, i got this somewhere elsecheaper and the it creates is it creates his expectation of entitlementand people where they think all they have to do is just basically bitchenough and they can get whatever they want and online dating has created thesame problem for the dating game. Did i tell youwhat i did to a check one time, the one that you fisted on her couch now?That's. I can't remember how i met her. I diddo that, though, i'm up at her that night. I remember so s o well me and my wife. We met amatch. Okay, but like before me and my wife may i was talking. I was on thereone of a few dates, but like so i like to play this game to where i metionedsomebody and i messes them and i'd have my normal, like income. I wouldn'tchange anything else on my profile and i, like i mean like i made, i madedecent money like like enough money,...

...whatever blah blah blah, but then i gott change. My income, like i met some, the same exact thing, same exactmessage, probably like two or three weeks later. If they didn't respond,had my income moved up a little bit and then, like i dubitat ally, triple myincome and then all sudden, they would message me back of really and i callthem out every time. I'm not shocked. I bike. Oh that's funny you, so you wantto talk to me now, yeah, because you think i make this amount of money, butbecause i don't make this amount of money earlier, they want to talk to me,they'd be like well babu, i'm mak, no, we're fucking your count! Chede yeah,now, l plenty of fish, which is probably theworst of the man. I remember him plenty of fish used to be like decent, butthat was like fifteen years o. That was one of the first ones and like it wasthe one that was on tv and had the wholesome cut that i have been how imet the istituto. It's just now. It's the absolute bottom of the barrel, butit's got it. That was one of the first ones i used and yeah. You could set itfor how much money you make, but then you can also sort people by like. I only want to me who made whomake between this much and this much and i'm like that, shallow. Even forthe internet yeah, we know it's wi like i did dat sites for a while, likewhenever i used. Whenever i get a relationship, i go on dating website.Bob oh you'd, see like the same people i and like man, you so haven't, foundsomebody. It's been like six years he's like oh yeah. I've had a couple ofpeople pop up for i'm like you, oh i remember where i know you from left.It's just so funny like you're still looking, because you have found shitlink. Ah huh, there's one girl i i match with on tender. This was maybe like the second year i was livinghere and we went on a couple of dates and it was cool. Then one day she justyou know, fucking ran is randomly just stopped talking to me and i was likeall right, whatever cool. Well then, like six months later, she pops up as asuggested friend on facebook, and i was like no that no no fucking way and igot a check, the guy that she had. I guess decided that she liked more thanme just to go start talking to you and now she's fucking pregnant with his kidright. Oh my god, okay well dodge to pull it a that. I would have given hermyself. I don't know three months ago she pops up on fucking tender as likesingle mom of two kids, and i was like no. He sat so fun just like i almostwant to. I almost want to see if i match with her just to see what thefuck she i should have, a member when you fucked up your life yeah you whenyou just like, went on two dates with me and then decided to go fuck someother dude, now you're single with two kids man shucks, that's fucking! Howsad for you, you know that wouldn't have happened with this guy and it is.It is weird like when i used to do that stuff be like i know you. I know you ahis very awkward and you have the same people match with you and you're likehide. This didn't work the first time like what the fucking top. I had onedating amnesia. I was in one that i met on okay cupid and we went out like on one day. It was afucking train rack i no like like as nice as she was like messaging. She wasa fucking bitch like when we were rude to the servers. What's big fucking knowfor me, so i thought her. I was like i'm good like let's just let's not talkagain, so we didn't speak in for like three months. The next thing i knowwhen we were doing the almes open my shirt showing up every fucking monday,hey, really yeah. She would just be there like every one never went up. Shewould just always be there and i was like this is getting really fuckingawkward. That's so weird, you never said never said a word to me. She'salways just sat in the back and wash i look it. It's like she's fucking withme, which you know what i'm not going tolie. Props you fucked a nail little bit me a little bit you're in my head andgame respects game. That's so weird! That's so fuckingweird! I had i had that happen when i, the girl, i was dat when i moved uphere. I had gone back because she...

...finished college. I d gone back up mybattery dorm and this they ever taly about my comedy stocker.I think so. No. I had a stocker at one point back when i was down south and stilltouring and shit, and and she was local, so it wasn't likeshe was following l over the fucking country, just all over the state really-and i like told her to fuck off and likecalled the cops on her at one point, and i got n't seen her in fucking years,and so i was dating this girl. When i moved up here and i went back down so iwas headlining a show, the last night, the last night that i was there in townand she shows up with like these four just big mother fuckers around her likea fucking on targe- and i was just like this isn't going to go well, so i hadall my friends. There is like okay, guys, listen. This bitch is here shelikes to start trouble just in case. I need you guys to like bee on the ready,because she's got these guys with her, and one of these guys was just this. Imean gargantuan dude and my body code goes which, which guy are we talkingabout? I said the really big one and he goes oh, you mean triple wide. It'slike yeah, yeah him. She they all sat right in front of the fucking, thefront of the stage her in the middle and the three of them around her likethat fucking cast encouch, not all four of them. None of them, like theyintentionally, sat stone faced all fucking night, and i can- and i know itwasn't because my joke sucked everybody else was laughing. They all just satstone face the whole night, just stared at me, the whole fucking, i that's soweird yeah i've been i've been back there sin. Luckily, i'm so creepy atcomedy. Like my person on sage, nobody tries to stock me, i'm too likable.That's the problem. I am too hateable. It's that's the perfect selection. We always want to hear what you guyshave to say what your thoughts are and whatever it is we're talking about, andit's really easy to do, that all you got to do is go to our websitei tbl poddot net and through our website you can either send us a message or click. Thelittle blue microphone button and leave us a voice mail and we love to share iton the show and hear what you guys, staying and hear what you guys have tosay, because we want you guys to be a part of the conversation here at thebasement lounge. I think my was my page right now, soi'm like, i feel, like a shadow band on facebook on facebook. It's weird ay,like now of people like i'm getting out. I also like randomly like i was gettinglike massive ount likes just on everything, mass malices and chairs,like on everything, yeah and then all of a sudden. I got banned for likethree days m because of something i wrote about my wife. That was a tick tack, a lot it wasliterally like like like we went on vacation and she came like she took offher top and she had like a fucking sea shell strapped to her nipple basil. Iwas like a long store shirt. Basically, i put she looks like she was like awhite trash aerial and that got flagged for like bullong seriously seriouslyand like ever since then, like i've got like, like maybe like ten twelve likes,o they pre, probably probably fucks with your algorithm. I think it does sopeople aren't finding your shit as much. It probably does happens with twitchall the time. If people, if you, if something in your video twitch, doesn'tlike sudden you'll notice, your videos are going from like five six hundredviews to like ten and zero passing me off. I'm like what the fuck, oh, it'sfucking, infuriating, yeah! That's why i feel that's what i think happens with there are days. I wonder i'm like thewhen i post about this show. Does anybody actually fucking see it otherthan the guy who's, also hosting it yeah? What pissed me off to is like i'm justtrying to get like verified on it yeah and they won't verify me. Oh gettingverified fucking hard, but i'm sitting there in, like. I know other comicsthat are verified that have like ten sand like like a thousand two thousandthree thousand follow. I don't understand how, because it's differentfrom like ap to app like twitter to...

...face an scram, it's so fucking hard,though well, i'm looking at just the facebook verifications like. I know acouple commerce of like two or three thousand followers, so i have three hundred so ihave like thirty thousand fucking tha sa and i i like they won't verify me.Am i it's fucking and sing. I don't get it. It doesn't make sense to me likeyou have to send like your license and everything and all that stuff. Like othing, i can think i'm my license is michael wells like it's like my notmike tfl but like fright, but like on the on that. No, there are liketeat their news, reporters and anchors at the station. I work at who don't usetheir real names on a so there for verify, yeah that doesn't i've seenpages that not even people's names that are verified and i'm like that doesn'tmake any sense. Oh yeah and it irritates a fuck at me because, like ijust think, it'd be cool to be verified like it, i'm bitching about somethingso stupid right now, it's a first world fucking problem yeah, butprofessionally it's a fucking problem yeah, so i'm just like i'm fuckingsuper bitter about that and i'm super bitter, like all of a sudden they'velike cut down and like all my shit and so want when i'll do some time to liketest it i'll take one that note is really popular in the past and throw itup there and it's like. Oh only like nobody like this hm. I know they'refucking with my like, i know, something's going on. Oh, you canalways tell it's not it's not like tick tock, the same thing like sometimes youget notified that, like your video, is being taken down or being blocked bythe times. It's like no one seeing this fucking video. Yes, it's ridi! You knowi had. I had the video they got like ten sand views and then, like the nextone that i got got like twelve and like how am i, how am i not showingup in people's feeds now if this last one i had the last time i had reallybig was when i made the one that got me a million, but i also got me fuckingdeath reat, but that's another story. Yeah. It was one of those one about theheadphones yeah yeah it good, fuck, kill yourself. I i you got you do. Letme fucking skull candies eat it, dicky fucking, hassle, yeah, the social media, algorithm shit,it's like well, it's all as like, like facebook instagram, both like you haveto go in and change a setting to see the most recent posts people have madeyeah. They only show you what's quote unquote. You know popular in your feetright now, so it's like! Well, how do you get popular if nobody can see myshit to begin with, then? How are they supposed to like it? So man people seeit, but then i also like, after that i was like fuck this shit yeah, so thatthe i robot looks like the mark sucker bird, a posted that, on there shitfucking, fucking fuck him. So do you want to go? Do you want to go to spacenext mark? Is that what you want? Dude, don't even give me start like a fuck,jeff, bezos man. Let him stay in fucking. Let him write his little dickrocket all the way to the stars, and you can just fucking stay up there. Itry it now. I just defassa so fucking. That rocket looks like a pan like likefucking tent anybody's, been talking about today, but i'm, like god, damnlike i it's blatantly a penis, oh yeah. I know it's the scene from how i metyour mother with a guy, looks the tower and goes that's a pretest yeah. That isa dick. Is you can't tell me that either a wasn't on purpose or be wasn'tat least brought up in a meeting like everyone else sees the penis right?What, if that's the only way i made it like to where it it actually worked out,like a has to be shit like that which, like i, maybe i can i'm trying to pulla picture of it? Maybe i can maybe i can't well when it was when it wasmusks company. It was just him setting astronauts up, though right. It wasn'thimself right now, yeah, it's just there, justas trig as regular aspirants, so that one i got a little more behind, becauseit showed that like well musk company to they also have like a massive amountof nasca people yeah. I don't e, even musk necessarily wantsto go to us he's not as like big uns. He himself is not like he's aboutgetting the space. A him himself is not... I want to go. He doesn't want togo. He wants to show that just that it can be done yeah that someone otherthan nasa can make this happen because they were talking about how like thespace suits, were designed by like people from hollywood like costumedesigners from like wonder woman, i think helped make their space suit sothat they were not only functional but also just like comfortable for jeffbesos, no, no, no fur for musk. Okay, i was like yeah bassos. I have i haven'tseen i couldn't give a full like balu i mike sit. There looks like a the blueman. Grow, failed blue man group. No, no, like the actual space suits theguys in in the spacex launch war because they talked about how, like thegloves, had to be made to where they were functional for space travel, butalso like work on all the touchscreen. Ah shit and i think it's space travels.Are i mean they're? So what's his face branson or bronson brans? I can'tremember he did his like the week before jeff baysei probis off basis,but yeah well, but brances was a little bit weirder hatteras like a plane andthey shot off from the plane. It was really odd, yeah that that's been donebefore it's not the most common way of doing it. It's kind of like it dependson what you're trying to do. I think he was the first private citizen, thoughyeah yeah, because musk just sent like i said muchto me. He just signed up baster knots, but he just had the rocket built that one i was more into because it wasactual astronauts. Just in a shuttle in a ship that somebody else built yeah imean he has a bunch of people like said abunch of nassi people helping him. So i mean it makes sense. Yeah none of themare bill, and i, though, no de nice tollit nasa, but is he really that'swhere he works in a se? I didn't know that yeah he's an action i mean. I knowyou know this, but most people were, i think, were shocked when they found outbill, and i was an actual fucking scienter really yeah. I mean i knewthat i did, but it was one of the bad people were like. Oh well, he'sactually like a sitis and it's like yeah. How do you thank you got the jobas he wears us, because ye werst, a bow tie, does i's not a fucking science. Ifanything that over qualifies him to be a scientist yeah no, really to youshould be a super scientist. The whole jeff bays was fucking flying up to god,damn wherever with his fucking cowboy hat, yeah so stupid. They see he he's akey thing like if it wasn't for like the amazon and amazon employs hewouldn't ha to do that. Yeah. I like what a piece of shit fucking do pad. Heher dog, pay her. What piss me off to is, he actually got bail out for thegovernment for space program. Did he really yeah the guy who owns fucking amazon neededa bail out for the space program, jesus christ? I can't standbillionaire's dude, i it's him him. My elon musk has ever done anything like.I don't not a big fan, i like elon, but then, like, i, don't think eland's everdone, like any of that governmental shit like i need this x money like he's,always trying to always done kind of done. It himself, yeah and also likethe stuff that he's done has at least like, like there are larger worldbenefits to stuff. He does like the electric cars. A lot of thetechnologies come up with is like beneficial long term for which i'm like.Okay, all right he's, not the amazon guy he's not the guy that killed bookstores. You know what and he the thing is about musk is. I forgot. I was going to go with this,so musk is a genius in no way how he runs, tesla, yeah, so a lot of timeswith tessa. This is how i understand it. He gets the pre orders m right and it'sfor prey, or i have to put like. I know for the truck it to put like a hundreddollars down. I think others you had to put like some round down. I can't emerwhat it was im a lot, but you had to put something by he's. Like listen, ihave all this. He literally goes. I have all these pre orders, he doesn'thave a and then he asked the bank, or wit, to lend them the gift. The moneybecause he's like he can prove that this amount of people want this. Ratherthan going to the bank- and you see i'm saying yeah he's not spending n themoney up front. He had the show like...

...there was a almost like a proof, aconcept yeah. The people would actually buy those ye doesn't and that's agenius move on his part because it's like all right like and he knows that-that's what they need to make type thing. Yea shit! That's fucking!Awesome! That's a that's! Fucking genius yeah, whereas bezos is just like.Let's see how much more i can make myself look like leku yeah, i justdon't jeff as us is like. I pretty hear she just he just went up to space ifthere's crypt night right well with you know with people say likeyou know, it's never it's always. What have you done for me lately with besos,i'm more like what have you done for anyone lately, yeah like other thanyourself, and he mean yea. He made amazon by his parents, gave him moneyto make amazon right. Well, then, his wife divorces him and takes all herfucking money and just donates at the fucking h, arad she's, like whateveri'm good. I got sposal support for the rest of my life. I just don't. I don'tunderstand the guy. What do you have to prove e h? Like i mean congratulatelike you? Don't you send on rock in the space but like what have you made yeah?What have you actually done? I think amazon sold the echo information to thefbi. I think they have contract for that so b stores all that shit. If iremember correctly, i think he has a massive contract with the fr cry, acameroon. It is well cause. I think they did that as kind of a fuck you toapple, because when the government was asking apple for theaccess to be to the those suspected terrorist phones- and they like nowwe're not going to create some loophole to sell people's data likewe're not going to do that and and the fbi was like. Oh a ganti american. Ifthey feel like, i feel like amazon, did that as a fuck you to a whyou sayinglike i don't necessarily like apples accompand, you have an iphone yeah, butthat was like one of them things that you're like good for them for not like.I know i was a terrorist thing, but you're like yeah. They knew theconsequences going in like if we do this like like. Like did. I understandthe government asking them permission for that sure i mean i don't have tofuck in, but they don't have to yeah. That's not there. They understood it'snot their information to gan they and they understood like. If we do this now. What's it's a hers, a thing thegovernment can hire people to break into it, anyways yeah. So thegovernment really wants to get in, they can get in it. That was the thing that got me waslike really all your fucking governmental resources and you guyscan't figure how to get into a fucking cell phone yeah really get in you canget in you just want that loop hole you they wanted the loop hole yeah all itwas, and i think everyone saw right. The fuck do that, because when you tellthem, when the you someone says, the fbi isn't able that isn't able tounlock his. I on that had everybody going really yeah really well. Onlythat i just like yeah people create programs all time tobe able to do that. Anyway, it's a lot, the break in the people's phones allthe time. So it's like you got you guys can't hack into the iphone, but thejackass that did the big celebrity eye cloud leak. Can yeah okay, fucking go ahead, go a happening! Yeah! The guywho created the faain, go ask that guy to get into the iphone i, but ye coulddo it. Jesus, if you're somebody who loves podcastinglike we do or you're really interested in getting into it for the first time,there's an awesome tool available to you to make everything super easy andit is called pod deck. Pod deck supplies you with decks of cards, thatyou can use for new episode, ideas, interview, question, ideas of alldifferent kinds of topics and styles, and it's so easy to use and so easy toget started. All you have to do is go to pod decom and use the cot b, l ten,to get ten percent off your total purchase at check out. That's the code,tb, l, ten at pod, decom by re tolli. One time like i would awas doing a contest and everyone shocked. I didn't get passed likeeverybody was like everybody even like to the people that, like got into thefinals, were like. How did you not...

...really? I had a massive mout peoplecome up to me at where it's like we didn't vote freaks. We thought you werecrazy. Lay legit thought you were crazy. I wasin no sneak that's fucking funny. It was. I poblete or thirty people havesaid that, and i was just like. Oh that's fus that mean i'm not gonna likei fucking killed and i was like i was kind of shocked like even i was shockedlike i'm, not trying to take my own or bows. I don't know. Okay, whatever,like it was out of town like people were at local, so whatever localsbrought people whatever down at a, but i was like hum, but now i was just likean on like yeah, like two of like the three and two of the four people comeup to me afterwards, like were shocked to didn't get in, but then, like all ofa sudden like all these people are like yeah, we would have only thought you'recrazy, like jesus. I, the very first time i ever did stand up. I was i wassixteen. It was for. I went to ridge view. High school was for the mr ridgeview pageant, which was a joke. I mean it was the guys went up and it was. Itwas taken far less seriously than the misridge of you, a pageant for sure i'll. Tell you that much. It was mostly justexcuse for the guys to go up and be idiots for two hours, but there was atalent portion. That was the first time i re id stand up. So my friend my firstshow was in front of a sold out five hundred seet autori i got lucky and that my first time wentreally well had laughter at the every punch line. Hadan applause break in a standing ovation when i got done like it went reallywell, my second show, god i had. I had everyone's first timebomb, my second time, which was a kick in the nads, but when they were so the way it works. Youole the mr freshman, mr sophomore, mr junior mir senior and then misterridgeville overall winter, although it was weird that there was amr senior and to mr rise because only seniors could win mister rigveda, dumbyeah, but so they get to mr junior and i wasa junior at the time and they called this other guy's name, and you heardthe audience go like it was a little like they wereexpecting someone else and then so they still clapped the guy who got it and iremember like when they announced when they call you and the guy who won. Hewas. He was a drum read that a drum, so that was fucking incredible but like abunch of the other guys in line kind of turned, to look at me like like what, because nobody else got a standingovation during this fucking during their performance, and it was a lot ofgreat talented, guys there. But i remember a week later i had a jobworking at marble slave creamery, which is like cold stone, but better they ownmaggie moose. Okay, i'm sitting there in my fucking. Youknow white polo shirt with the ice cream cup on it and the hat on, and ihave like a random couple that i've never met in my life they're like, wereyou doing, stand up at the at the high school thing today and i was like yeahthat was me and they're like how did you not win? I was like well kind of adults. I don'tfucking know. Thank you. I was a sixteen year old, telling jokesabout tornadoes and fire drills. I don't fucking know i just did okay, ijust didn't. I'm really fucking sensitive about it, but thanks forbringing it up, we hope you enjoy this week's episode of the basement. Lounge.If you guys want to know more about the show or get more involved in any way,shape or form had on over to our website. Tbl pod dot net, that's t b, l,p, o d dot net leave us a rating and review on the reviews, page and cookthe little blue microphone to send us a voice message. Let us know what youthought of today's show and share your thoughts on what we talked about. We'llsee you guys again and next week for a brand new episode. Every wednesday atam is when they drop until then is always live well rock on take care andbe by...

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