The Basement Lounge
The Basement Lounge

Season 2, Episode 36 · 1 year ago

Online Dating Sux


Has online dating created a sense of entitlement when it comes to relationships? What does Jeff Bezos have to prove? Have you ever felt like you didn't get the recognition you deserved?

This week, Mike & Mike talk about:

  • Online dating brings out the worst in people.
  • Jeff Bezos has small d**k energy.
  • When you do your best but nobody notices.

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Mike Wells - @mikewtfwells

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Hey Basement Lounge fans, this is Mike Shay here. You know, I never want you guys to have to miss a single episode of this show, and I'm gonna tell you the easiest way to make sure that you always have the newest episode ready to go on your phone. If you listening to the show on Apple Podcast, just go to the little top corner of our show and click that little plus sign or check mark button and turn on automatic downloads. That will make sure that the episode goes straight to your phone the minute it's released, so you guys never have to miss a single episode. I didn't know backpage are shut down. Backpage got shut down. So did the the personals on on craigs Lel. Yeah, know that all that, because I'll not only was that shit like all that revenge porn, was also like sex trafficked. Oh sure, for sure. So I'm at told you. When you know what we you see me my buddies to read this. CRAIKSIS casual. Yeah, it's. Oh my God, I miss those, but like you go through them when you read I'm like, Oh that that's blatantly yeah, yeah, I fucking like Lousen. Don't know. We're talking about. Mike used to do a thing on youtube where they would it was called the craigslist book club and they would read the personal ads like in fucking robes and chairs. I missed that Shit. That shit was funny. That show is so funny. I think it's hilarious. Feel like you should bring that back for like online dating sites or some shit. Could I couldn't look it funny. Tender, ten tender book club. Welcome to the Basement Lounge podcast with your host Mike Shay and Mike Wells. Sit Back, grab a drink, relax, let's see where the time takes us. Enjoy. Lord knows, I've seen some shit on tonight. One last night I was swiped them through and it was like this chick was trying to show how much of a party girl she was. It was like her to strip club with like some fat chick's booming her mouth, and I was like, I'm going to report this one. That's not supposed to be here. Not. I never did the whole tender thing, ever. It's dumb. I at this point I'm letting my memberships expire and I'm delete the APPS. I'm done. I'm over it and just over days overdating in general. Man. Yeah, like I've been single for with the exception of the girl I was seeing a little bit earlier, earlier in the year. I've been saving for five years. Yeah, and I and I've been doing the online dating thing the whole time and it just it's a waste of fucking time. Yeah, no, it can't be and definitely can be. Yeah, like, just like, from a realistic point of view, like the problem with, for, with online dating, first thing you do is you create this your parameters based on what you want your perfect fucking person to be. News Flash, everyone, that person doesn't fucking exist. I see a hole in the wall. Yes, she's my glory hole. The only downside is the Dick splinters. Yeah, name that show and it. But you create, yeah, you create this, this, this fake perfect person, and that's what anyone looks for. They only accept someone who checks all those boxes. That person doesn't exist. I'm guilty of it as well, and it just it's I equated to when when Walmart's dud started doing their price matching bullshit, where you can say, Hey, I got somewhere else cheaper. They it creates this, it creates this expectation of entitlement and people where they think all they have to do is just basically bitch enough and they can get whenever they want. And I'mline dating is created the same problem for the dating game. Did I tell you what I did to check one time, the one that you fisted on her couch? Now that's I can't remember how I met her. I did do that, though, a uppeteer that night, I remember. So I was on. Oh, me and my wife. We met a match, okay, but like before me and my wife. Man, I was talking. I was on there one a few dates. But like so I like to play this game to where I messed somebody and that messages them and I'd have my normal like income. I wouldn't change anything else on my profile. And I'm like, I mean like I made I made decent money, like like enough money,...

...whatever, blah, blah. But then I got changed my income, like I messed some the same exact thing, same exact message, by like two or three weeks later, if they didn't respond, have my income moved up a little bit. MM. And then, like I double, I'd actually triple my income, and they all some they would message me back really and I call them out every time. I'm not shocked. I beg Oh, that's funny. You See, you want to talk to me now. Yeah, because you think I make this a kind of money, but because I don't make this amount of money. Earlier to want to talk to me and they'd be like, whoa about? I'm like, now we're fucking your count. Shut up. Yeah, now, plenty of fish, which is a probably the worst of them all. I remember in plenty of fish used to be like decent, but that was like fifteen years that. That was one of the first ones and like it was the one that was on TV and had the wholesome question and how I met the fist to chick. Now it's just now it's absolute bottom of the barrel, but it's got it. Those on the first ones I use. And Yeah, you could set it for how much money you make, but then you get also sort people by like I only want to make between this much and this much, and I'm like that shallow even for the Internet. Yeah, well, know, it's why I'd like I did dating size for a while. Like whenever I used whenever I get our relationship, I got on dating website, bubby Blah. You'd see like the same people, only one like man I used to have and found somebody. It's been like six year. Here's like Oh, yeah, I've I've had a couple people pop up from like you, Oh, I remember where, I know you from left. It's just so funny, like you're still looking because you have found shit. Like Uh Huh. There's one girl I match with on tender. This was maybe like the second year I was living here, and we went on a couple of dates and it was cool. Then one day she just, you know, fucking Ryan is, randomly just stopped talking to me and I was like all right, whatever, cool or the like. Six months later she pops up as a suggested friend on facebook and I was like no, that's no. So, no fucking way, and I gotta check the guy that she had. I guess decided that she liked more than me. Just go start talking to when I she's fucking pregnant with this kid. Right, I'm like God, okay, well dodged a bullet. Yeah, that I would have given her myself. I don't know. Three months ago she pops up on fucking tender as like single mom of two kids, and I was like no, he shaved. That's so fucking funny. It's like I almost want to, I almost want to see if I match with her just to see what the fuck had I should have. Hey, remember when you fucked up your life? Yeah, there were you just like went on two dates with me and they decided to go fuck some other dude. Now you're single with two kids. Man, sucks. That's sucks. That's how sad for you. You know that wouldn't happen with this guy, and it is. It is weird, like when I used to do that, stuch be like I know you, I know you, Uh Huh, this is very awkward. And he had these same people match with you and you're like high, like this an't work. The first time I put the fuck up. I had one dating Amnesi Equ then one that I met on Okay Cupid, and we went out like on one day. It was a fucking train reckon. I like, like as Nice as she was like messaging, she was a fucking bitch, like we were rude to the servers. Let's as big fucking know for me. So I told her, I was like I'm good, like let's just let's not talk again. So we didn't speak in for like three months. The next thing I know, when we're doing the allies, open my shirt, showing up every fucking Monday. Hey will really yeah, she would just be there. Let's everyone never went up. She would just always be there and I was like this is getting really fucking awkward. That's so weird. You never sat, never said a word to me. She's always just sat in the back and watch like it's like she's fucking with me, which, you know what, I'm not going to lie. Props. You fucked us. Nay a little bit, fuck me a little bit. You're in my head and game respects came. That's so weird. That's so fucking weird. I have I had that happened when I the girl I was dating when I moved up here. I had gone back because she finished college. I'd gone back up my...

...abottery dorm and this ever tell you about my comedy stalker? I think so. No, I had a stalker at one point back when I was down south and still touring and shit and and she was local, so it wasn't like she was following me over the fucking country, just all over the state really, and I had like told her to fuck off and like call the cops on her at one point and I hadn't seen her in fucking years. And so I was dating this girl when I moved up here and I went back down. So I was headlining a show the last night the the last night that I was there in town, and she shows up with like these four just big motherfuckers around her like a fucking entourage, and I was just like this isn't gonna go well. So I had all my friends are I was like, okay, guys, listen, this bitch is here. She likes to start trouble. Just in case, I need you guys to like be on the ready because she's got these guys with there. And one of these guys was just this, I mean Gargantoone Dude, and my buddy cody goes which which guy we talking about? I said the really big one. He goes, Oh, you mean triple wide. It's like yeah, yeah, him. She they all sat right in front of the fucking the front of the stage, her in the middle and the three of them around her like that fucking casting couch me. So I see, yeah, not all four of them, none of them, like they intentionally sat stone faced. I'll fucking night and I can and know it wasn't because my joke sucked. Everybody else was laughing. They all just sat stone face the whole night and just stared at me the whole fucking time. That's so weird. Yeah, I've been. I've been back there. Sense. Luckily, I'm so creepy at comedy, like my person on stage, nobody tries to stop me. I'm too likable. That's the problem. I am too hatable. It's that's the perfect solution. We always want to hear what you guys have to say, what your thoughts are and whatever it is we're talking about, and it's really easy to do that. All you got to do is go to our website, tblpod dotnet, and through our website you can either send us a message or click the little blue microphone button and leave us a voicemail and we'd love to share it on the show and hear what you guys think. And we hear what you guys have to say because we want you guys to be a part of the conversation here at the Basement Lounge. I think my wasn't my page right now, Soungli, I feel like a shadow band on facebook, on facebook. It's weird. Now people like I'm getting I I also like randomly, like I was getting like mass amount likes just on everything, Mass Moul likes and chairs, like on everything. Yeah, and then all sudden I got banned for like three days, MMM, because of something I wrote about my wife. That was on tick tock a lot. It was literally like like we went on vacation and she can't. She took off her top and she had like a fucking seashell strapped her nipple. That's I basically is like a long story shore. Basically I put it, she looks like she was like a white trash arial and that got flagged for like bulliving. Seriously, bacy, and like ever since then, like I've got like like maybe like ten twelve likes. Of they probably probably fucks with your algorithm. I think it does. So people aren't finding your shit as much. It probably does. Happens with twitch all the time. If people with you, if something in your video twitch doesn't like, suddenly you'll notice your videos are going from like five, six hundred views to like ten zero, pissing me off. I'm like, what the fuck? Oh, it's fucking infuriating. Yeah, that's why I feel I thought. I think happens with there are days I wonder. I'm like the one I post about this show, is anybody actually fucking see it other than the guy who's also hosting it? Yeah, well, Piss me off to is like I'm just trying to get like verified on it. Yeah, and they won't verify me. I'll getting verified. It's fucking hard, but I'm saying there on MI I know other comics that are verified to have like Tenzero Thousan't like like a thousand, two thousand, three thou followers. I don't understand how, because it's different from like...

APP to APP, like twitter to face. Yeah, instagram. It's so fucking hard, though. While I'm looking at just the facebook verifications, like I know a couple comments have like two or three thousand followers, I see have three hundred. So I have like Thirtyzeros. fucking that singing and I I'm like they won't verify me. Am Like fucking insane. I don't get it. It doesn't make sense to me. Like you have to send like your license and everything and all that stuff. Like I can think I'm my liceness as Michael Wells, like it's like my not Mike, to WTF wels, but like right. But like, on that note, there are like Tet their news reporters and anchors at the station I work at who don't use their real names on are there for are verified. Yet that doesn't I've seen pages that not even people's names that are very fight and I'm like that's doesn't make any sense. Oh yeah, and it air takes a fuck at me because, like I just think it'd be cool to be verified. Like it's I'm bitching about something so stupid. Right now. It's a first world fucking problem, yeah, but professionally it's a fucking problem. Yeah, so I'm just like I'm fucking super bitter about that. And I'm super bitter like all the sudden they've like cut down and like all my shit, and so, well, what I'll do? Sometimes they like test it. I'll take one that note was really popular in the past and throw it up there and it's like Oh, wow, only like nobody like this. HMM, I know they're fucking with Maui. I know something's going on. Oh, you can always tell it. It's not. It's not like Tick Tock, the same thing. Like sometimes you get notified that like your videos being taken down or being blocked by the Times. It's like that no one seeing this fucking video. Yes, it's ride. You know, I had I had the video. They got like tenzero views, and then like the next one that I got like twelve, and I'm like how am I? How am I not showing up in people's feeds now if this last one I had, the last time I hit really big was when I made the one that got me a million but also got me fucking death threats, but that's another story. It was one of those one about the headphones. Yeah, Goop, fuck, kill yourself, did you do? We're doodle it, we're fucking skull candies. Eat It, Dick, fucking asshole. Yeah, the Social Media Algorithm Shit, it's like, well, it's always like like facebook and instagram both like you have to go in and change a setting to see the most recent posts people have made. Yeah, they only show you what's, quote unquote, you know, popular in your feed right now. So it's like, well, how do you get popular if nobody can see my shit, to be in with the how are they supposed to like it? So when people see it? So then I also like. After that I was like fuck this shit. Yeah, so that the I robot looks like the fun Mark Suckerberg and posted that on there. Shit, fuck him, fuck him, fuck him. So do you want to go to do you want to go to space? Next Mark? Is that what you want? Do? Don't need to give me started like a fuck Jeff bezos man. Let him stay and fucking's let him ride a little Dick rocket all the way to the stars and you can just fucking stay up there. I'll try it now. I just Jeff bezos is so fucking that rocket looks like a people like like a fucking famous so anybody's been talking about today. But I'm like, God damn, like it's blatantly a penis. Oh, yeah, I know, it's the scene from how I met your mother with a guy looks the tower and goes that's a penis. Yeah, that is a Dick is. You can't tell me that either a wasn't on purpose or be wasn't at least brought up in a meeting, like everyone else sees the penis right. What if that's it, the only way and made it like to where it actually worked out, like a has to be shaped like that which like I maybe I can't. I'm trying to pull a picture of it. Maybe I can't, maybe I can't. Well, what the when it was when it was musk's company, it was just him setting astronauts up, though, right it wasn't himself right now. Yeah, it's just they're just a stream which is regular astronauts. So that one I got a little more behind because it showed that, like, well, must company to they also have like a massive amount of NAS x, NASA people. Yeah, I don't think even musk necessarily wants to go to us. He's not as like big ONS know. He himself is not like he's about getting the space, but him himself is not like...

I want to go. He doesn't want to go. He wants to show that just that it can be done. Yeah, that someone other than NASA could make this happen, because they were talking about how, like the the space suits were designed by like people from Hollywood, like costume designers from like wonder woman, I think, helped make their space suits that they were not only functional but also just like comfortable. Wait for Jeff Bey's those? No, no, no, for for musk. Okay, I was like yeah, bezos I have. I haven't seen. I couldn't give a fuck. Like blue. I'm like said there it looks like a blue mangrove failed blue man group. No, I know, like the actual space suits, the guys and you in the SPACEX launch war, because they talked about how, like the gloves had to be made to where they were functional for space travel but also like work on all the touch screen. Yeah, Shit, and I think it's space travels are I mean they're soake. What's his face? Branson or Ronson brands? I can't remember. He did his like the week before Jeff bezosroably kissed off BESOS. But yeah, well, but Branson's was a little bit weird. It's I was like a plane and they shut off from the plane. It was really I yeah, that that's been done before. It's not the most common way of doing it. It's kind of like that depends what you're trying to do. I think he was the first private citizen, though. Yeah, because musk just sound like a said much. He just sent up astronots, but he just had the rocket built. That one I was more into because it was actual astronauts just in a shuttle, a ship that somebody else built. Yeah, I mean he has a bunch of people, like said, bunch of XS NASA people helping him. So I mean it makes sense. Yeah, none of them are bill and II, though. Now Bill Nic still at NASA, is he really? That's where he works, in NASA? I didn't know that. Yeah, he's an actually, I mean I know you know this, but people were, I think we're, shocked, and they found out bill and I was an actual fucking science really. Yeah, I mean I knew that, I did, but it was one of those a bad people. We are like, oh well, he's actually like a citeist, and it's like, yeah, how do you get think you got the job? So as he wears just because he wears a Bowtie doesn't it's not fucking scient if anything, that overqualifies him to be a scientist. YEA, though, really that U should be a super scientist. On the whole, Jeff Beysos fucking flying up to God damn whever with his fucking cowboy hat. Yeah, so stupid. They see, he's a key thing. Like if it wasn't for like the Amazon and Amazon employees, he wouldn't do it. Yeah, it's like what a piece of Shit. fucking douchebag. Hey, your pay her. Well, Piss me off to is he actually got bail out for the government for a space program? Did he really? Yeah, the guy who owns fucking Amazon needed a bailout for the space program. Jesus Christ, I can't stand billionaires. Dude. I him, him, Elon Musk has ever done anything like I don't my big Fan. I like Elon, but then like, I don't think Elan's ever done like any of that governmental shit, like I need this ex money, like he's always trying to always done kind of done it himself. Yeah, and also like the stuff that he's done has at least like like there are larger world benefits to stuff he does, like the electric cars. A lot of the technologies come up with is like beneficial long term, for which I'm like, Oh, okay, all right, he's not the Amazon Guy. He's not the guy that killed bookstores. You know what? And I the thing is about Musque is I forgot I was gonna go with this. So musque is a genius in a way. How he runs Tesla. Yeah, so, a lot of times what Tessa? This is how I understand it. He gets the pre orders, m right and for Prioria have to put, like I know for the truck to put like a hundred dollars down. I think others you had to put like some round down my camera. What it wasn't a lot, but you have to put something. But he's like, listen, I have all the he literally goes, I have all these pre orders. He doesn't have any asked the bank or with the lend them to get the money, because he's like he can prove that this amount of people want this rather than going to the bank. You see I'm saying. Yeah, so it's not spending the money up front. He...

...had to show like there was a almost like a proof of concept. Yeah, the people would actually buy this. Yeah, it doesn't. and that's a genius move on his part because it's like all right, like and he knows that that's what they need to make type thing and like shit, that's fucking awesome, that's yeah, that's fucking genius. Yeah, whereas Bezos is just like, let's see how much more I can make myself look like Lex Luthor. Yeah, I just don't. Jeff Asos is like a pretty here. He she just he just went up to space. If there's SCRIPTONITE. You're right. Well, with you know, with people say, like you know, it's never, it's always what have you done for me lately? With Bezos, I'm more like what have you done for anyone lately? Yeah, like other than yourself? All right, that he mean? Yeah, he made Amazon by his parents gave him money to make Amazon. Right. Well, then is wife divorces him and takes all her fucking money and just donate to the fucking charity. She's like whatever, I'm good, I got spazzl support for the rest of my life. I still I don't understand the guy. What do you have to prove? Like, I mean congratulate, like you done. You sent on rock in the space, but like what have you've made? Yeah, what have you actually done? I think Amazon sold the ECHO information to the FBI. I think they have contract for that. So FBI stores all that Shit. If I remember correctly, I think they has a massive contract with the FBI or series camera ch want it is well, because the I think they did that as kind of a fuck you to apple, because when the government was ask an apple for the access to be to the those suspected terrorists phones and they're like no, we're not going to create some loophole to sell people's data, like we're not going to do that. And the FBI was like, Oh, anti American. If I feel like I feel like Amazon did that as a fuck you to apple. You're saying, like I don't necessarily like apples, a companyad you have an iphone. Yeah, but that was like a one of them things that you're like good for them for not like I know was a terrorist thing, but you're like, yeah, they knew the consequences going in. Like if we do this, like look, like, did I understand the government asking them permission for that? Sure, I mean, they don't have to, fucking but they don't have to. Yeah, that's not there. They understood it's not their information to get. They and they understood, like if we do this, now, what's it's? Here's the thing. The government can hire people to break into it anyways. Yeah, so it's the government really wants to get in, they can get in it. That was the thing that got me was like really, all your fucking governmental resource versus and you guys can't figure how to get into a fucking cell phone. Yeah, really, get in. You can get in. You just want that loophole. You would they wanted the loophole. Yeah, all it was, and I think everyone saw right the fuck do that, because when you tell them, when you someone says the FBI isn't able to, isn't able to unlock this iphone, that at everybody going really, yeah, really well, I like that, just like, yeah, people create programs all time to be able to do that. Anyways, a lot the break into people's phones all the time. So it's like, you got you guys can't hack into the IPHONE, but the jackass that did the big celebrity I cloud leak can. Yeah, okay, fucking go at, go a happening. Yeah, the guy who created the Fabben and go ask that guy to get into the IPHONE. But you could do it, Jesus. If you're somebody who loves PODCASTING LIKE WE DO, or you're really interested in getting into it for the first time, there's an awesome tool available to you to make everything super easy, and it is called pod decks. Pod Deck supplies you with decks of cards that you can use for new episode ideas, interview question ideas of all different kinds of topics and styles, and it's so easy to use and so easy to get started. All you have to do is go to pod dexcom and use the codetbl ten to get ten percent off your total purchase at check out. That's the code tbl Ten at pod dexcom. By Ray tell. One time I I would do in a contest and everybody shocked I didn't get past. Like everybody's like. Everybody even like to the people that like got into the finals...

...are like how did you not? Really, I had a massive amount of people come up to me at where say we didn't vote for weeks. You thought you were crazy. They legit thought you were crazy. I was, you know, just me. That's fucking funny. I it was I pi. Twenty or thirty people have said that and I was just like, oh, that's because, I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I fucking killed. And I was like I was kind of shocked. Like even I was shocked, like I'm not trying to my own horn bowers. I hunt, okay, whatever, like it was out of town, like people were at locals whatever, locals brought people whatever. Doubt it, but I was a huh. But now I was just like and like get like two of like the three and two of the four people come up to me afterwards like we're shocked eating get in, but then I all of a sudden like all these people like yeah, we would have already thought you were crazy. Like Jesus. I the very first time I ever did stand up, I was sixteen. It was for I went to Ridgeview high school. Was for the Mr Ridgeview pageant, which was a joke. I mean it was. The guys went up and it was it was taken far less seriously than the missfridgeview pageant for sure. I'll tell you that much. It was mostly just excuse for the guys to go up and be idiots for for two hours. But there was a talent portion. That was the first time I ever to stand up. So my first my first show was in front of a sold out five hundred seat auditorium. I got lucky in that my first time went we really well. had laughter at the every punch line, had an applause break in a standing ovation when I got done. Like it went really well. My Second Show, God, I had I had everyone's first time bomb my second time, which was a kick in the NADS. But when they were so the way it works, you can beat they had Mr Freshman, Mr Sophomore, Mr Jr, Mr Senior and then Mr Ridge view was the overall winner, although it was weird that there was a MR senior and a Mr Ridgeview because only seniors could win. Mr Ridgeview. It's just wage is dumb. Yeah, but so they get to Mr Junior and I was a junior at the time and they called this other guy's name and you heard the audience go like it was a little like they were expecting someone else, and then some this still clap of the guy who got it, and I remember like when they announced, when they call you and the guy who won, what he was. He was a drum reread that a drum sew. That was fucking incredible. But like a bunch of the other guys in line kind of turn to look at me like like what? Because, because nobody else got a standing ovation during the fucking there in their performance, and it was a lot of great talented guys there. But I remember a week later I had a job working at marble slab of Creamery, which is like cold stone but better. They own Maggie moves. Okay, and I'm sitting here in my fucking you know, White Polo shirt with the ice cream cup on it and the hat on and I have like a random couple that I've never met in my life if they're like, we're just doing stand up at the at the high school thing that and I was like yeah, it was me, and they're like how did you not win? I was like well, kind adults, I don't fucking know. Thank you. I was a sixteen year old telling jokes about tornadoes and fire drills. I don't fucking know, I just did. Okay, I just didn't that. I'm really fucking sensitive about it, but thanks for bringing it up. We hope you enjoyed this week's episode of the Basement Lounge. If you guys want to know more about the show or get more involved in any way, shape or form, head them over to our website, tblpod dotnet. That's tblpod dotnet. Leave us a rating and review on the reviews page and click the little blue microphone to send us a voice message. Let us know what your thought of today's show and share your thoughts on what we talked about. We'll see you guys again in next week for a brand new episode. Every Wednesday, eight am is when they drop until then, as always live well, rock on, take care and bu bye.

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