The Basement Lounge
The Basement Lounge

Season 0, Episode 2 · 1 year ago

Interview with Michele Traina | The VIP Table #2

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Welcome to The VIP Table! A special private seating with special guests that's driven by you, the viewers.

Today's guest is Michele Traina, a comedian from New York. Michele is the host & showrunner of the touring comedy show Divorce Diaries. Michele has big plans for the future of the show, and sits down to tell us all about it.

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What's up, Basement Lounge fans, welcome to another installment of the VIP table. This is our one on one interview show every month with some very special guests. We bring someone on and we talked about their industry, talk about their projects and again get to know the little bit more this this month's guests. So we don't we don't only need to get to know her, because we've gotten to know her a lot. She's been on the show twice before already. We just had her aunt call into the Valentine's Day special, we did, and we had her on as a guest during season one and if you've, if you've ever endured relationship drama and needed to laugh about it, she has been one of the Gotos with her show, the divorce diaries, and we are proud and excited to welcome back to the show. Seems I can figure out how, because there wars here. We're bringing in Michelle trainer to the show. As soon as it loads are it goes, there's picture and there she is, the mom shit. That's Hashtag hot single mom shit. I love it. That's trending. Know that. Yeah, keys going full Italian. Yes, we know what cut Peccerino. Oh, Oh my God, yes, but that's making sure you're single. Italian moms, we got to make sure every like. We got a lot of stereotypes to fit in here. So No, my daughter will only eat this and she'll eat like the pieces of it right grace. Well, that's what you did last week. Serious question. Is the rind of that good? Like kind of people use Parmajan Ryan and a lot of things. Good. It's delicious. Is that okay? I you with a cracker. It's not mine. Yeah, right now, look here straight up on the show. Yes, I love it. My instat cart just dropped off my groceries. I have. I have a chunk of Parmesan and a glass of wine, a bottle of wine in there. So, so yummy. We have the strawberries with their really strawberries and cheese. Oh God, I've messed up. Apparently I've made a mistake. All right, so, yeah, I said so. Michelle and I met a couple of it got. It's already been a two thousand and nineteen we did that. Holy Crap, has already been two years, although this past year was is just kind of a blur. So it wasn't like a real year now. It didn't count. It didn't count. Two Thousand and twenty is going to be the shortest chapter in the history books gears. It's just it's just what happened to two thousand and twenty. It's sucked. Everything was bad. We moved on. But we met two thousand and nineteen doing the dog and funny show here in Daton over at the funny bone with with Doug Bass and and Mike Wells, and that show was so much fun because for the first time in in a long career it felt like I was doing like a like a proper like a comedy, all those those comedy variety tours like you see the Comedians do. It was it was like and I'm so sorry, I'm on a meeting right now, grace, and I can't watch you right now. So this is what life's like, because when I was on the road with Doug doing that show, I didn't have that. I love my child still, get me wrong, beautiful cart wheel, but like this would happen. That's our comedy, ha ha ha ha. Anyway, I missed. That was a fun tour and I was dug's like first like time on the road for that show. Oh, it was an only count a road at show, but I love Doug loses honey. No, no, Dun gets on it in La and what happened was he had gotten a booking with some of the Ohio funny bones, and I'm that was I think that was my favorite show, the one a day. And Really, yeah, you know, I just saying that. The kids my ass. Oh, no, none at all. I'm not. I'm saying that because the other, the first one, wasn't bad. I just felt like the vibe there was better. I don't know what, because I was there, should just say that it totally is about the people. You know, I'm a big Gary vanners up fan, so like people and the relationships and how we create. Like promotes empathy and I feel like that was a good vibe of the comics. I met you and we've stayed in touch and I felt overall that one out of all three was the most memorable. So Hey,...

...if it is about you, that's great. You're doing something right. I'll take it. You well, what needs to happen? He's need to come back and you to do it. Do a show at while he is, because while he's as far as comedy clubs go is is like the COUDA Gras. I mean that is it's Ohio's old as club. There's you walk in and like funny bones, fine, because it feels like a comedy venue, but like, while he's has like this almost like a like like you feel like your home. Well, right, it's old school comedy club. It's like it's not a it's not a and I love funny bone, don't get me wrong too, because I've done funny bone with divorce diaries. It's just different. It's like, you know, I love me whola hands, but I also like my amount of pop shot. You know what I'm saying, like it's the Italian restaurant down the street. So it's a little different, because you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, I like my five guys. I don't like my McDonald's. So it's fun. It was break too, because the first time I got to because we'll, because we met technically the the morning before the morning of, because we did we went, you and me and Doug went and did the new show that morning. Yeah, and then we got to the we got to the venue and because I am always obscenely early to everything I do. Well, it's you say that, except that particular one. We were all there, me, Mike, Doug and Doug. Member kept saying like where is Michelle? She'll comes walking in gorgeous dress, big old cup of coffee in her hand and was where were you? She's like why, went to get the Cup of coffee, because I have to say it like you do. But then I would. I saw the store and there these shoes and I just had to get the shoes because they look so good with the dress. And those shoes were like on sale for like ten bucks and I could not pass it up. I know that was wrong. I should have not done the shoes. No, but you know what, because the deal was because at first we were I think there was kind of the air of like are you fucking kidding me? And then you said no, they were ten bucks. It was like, Oh, okay, now that's good. No, yeah, for anything is like I also, yes, I'm making you more grated cheese, so that I know. This is my life, my hair today, to just so you know. So people see this look lovely, but this is the new look I'm going for, where it's like single mom, single mom succeeding in the struggle style. It you look a lovely thank but yeah, I had that show. We did the the tell the the morning show when I first met you that I was in a such a bad relationship with another guy. Oh, no, well, we had ended, but then he texted me, or I texted him the night before and then right before we went on we were texting. I was texting him in the car. So that's that's all I remember. I may remember more than that, but yeah, I know. I'm so glad I'm rid of that guy. Yes, good, you remember relationships with those experiences, though. Yeah, so, I mean I've been single for six years, but yes, I god, Oh, so have I like, I haven't actually been in a committed relationship like I think they are in my head. Yeah, Oh, I can relate to that. And I and I talked to like I talked to my door. But it's openly like if someone doesn't want to be with you, you don't spend your time with them. But what bothers me is that they poke at you, you know, they like, well, of course I want to be too, you're amazing, you're wonderful, you know, but like it's like tap tap, tap tap, and we hope behind junior like where did you remember? People used to do that? Oh yeah, and then they wonder why you get so angry. It's exactly what it feels like. It feels like they're telling you. Oh Yeah, I'm here in spirit anyway. You know, they're not act truly there. I could row. So what is? Because, you know, two thousand and twenty took it took a lot out of a comedy in general, and it's still on the rebound a little bit. And and as somebody who has put their their whole life into this, into this show, into the divorce diaries, what's been? What's you know, kind of like what's the last year been like with the show and kind of where is it? Where is it getting to now? Okay, so, and I apologize for like moving the computer around like a crazy person, but the show because I was making my daughter lunch. But that's a good segue to where the show is gone. And the show is gone into making a TV pilot. So I always envision divorce saries being a television show, just because I felt or or what it is right now, you know, a live show, but I felt like, you know, the story of my daytoday needs to be told episodically, because it's a little like everybody has the underdog in them. Everybody has underdog moments, right,...

...and that's that's to me, what I am, and I'm not saying that to like selfdepregated, for myself down, but it's like I got married, I moved away from my acting career to have this family because I thought that's what I should have done, that's what they're supposed to do financially, stayable, all these things. Then I veered off of what I really love. I didn't really could, I didn't settled in with somebody that was really the love of my life, and then I got divorced, and that was the het. Like it was so such a it was like shaking a snowball, right, and then you're like, I have to get out of the snowball no matter how bad it is. If I get out of the snowball, even though it's I don't show that makes sense. But I got out of the snowball, broken glass and everything, landed at my parents House with my ninety two year old grandmother, my handicap dog, my twin brother lives there every and it was like still better than staying married. So I feel like if I could handle that, I could handle the pandemic. But the pandemic was different than a divorce because you weren't allowed to go out and do what my craft was in person. It was just weird. So it was definitely scary at first, and then once I got everything under control, I did manage like I did did what any business person was going to do, like they took everything in it, they assessed everything and figured how to how to switch to this platform of virtual and and to continue to build and grow, because I was never going to settle up, like I just can't do it right now, but now is not the time. No fucking way. Hopefully I can curse. Sorry, are already did, so it's fine. So I shifted the live show in person to virtual. Every other week I got I try to. I shouldn't say I try to. I promoted law firms to sponsor my show or divorce brands to sponsor my show for private events. That worked and then the other times they just said Hey, here's a free virtual audition for anyone my fathers wanted to click in the Zoom Lake. And then I also when we could open up again like small spaces in New Jersey. I did live outdoor shows. You two of those, and then now we're back. We're back may eighth whidd we and bday Comedy Club. But but also during this timeframe of like, you know what's going on, I just felt like I had a shift to virtual and expanding my audience and start the process of creating this pilot because I wanted on a network. And it's not about being on the network, I should say. It's about I wanted to expand this show so that so many people know about it and are relating to it and are and are connecting to the fight that I have for the underdog, for the single mom, for the person who who always gets cast last, for, you know, my special need students who got used to get pushed aside, you know, when it came to certain things, and and for the women and men that get pushed aside from their x's. It's like that's that struggle that I want to I want to promote this this cock comedic story to people on a wider range. So creating the TV pilot. Here we are. So that's I love that you're doing that. I love that you, you know, made a mountain out of a molehill with this thing. And you know, because also like seeing how the cut like taking your content over to tick tock and and the just the cleverness with the like the daytoday routines and and and and, you know, chalk something it up and I'm in sixty seconds, but just in a way that's that's goofy and silly and fun and and also just relatable to I think, if think is the big thing. I'm glad you said relatable. That's my key is I want to touch other people's lives and that makes them feel like you know, you know, the office was a favorite show of mine in the golden girls and those are two moments where I felt like if I've watched an episode of those shows, I feel better about my life because I could relate to certain moments. And like tick tock is a great way to do that right. You know, you see, you can connect to people on a level of you know, we're all in it together, although I will say tick tock just recently like denounced one of my videos is having nudity and sexual activity and it doesn't. That is that is like tick tocks. The only people who don't follow tick tocks community guidelines are tick tock like it is. I don't even understand. I wrote Happy Easter and a half to round the bunny and they're like, I swear, half the videos on women's accounts on tick tock our videos saying my video was taken down for a nudity and there's no nudity in it. It's like, I don't know what it is that I was offended, but I was like, Dan, tick tocks has been a great ride, please don't hurt me now I look to chalk it up to I did just means you're too hot for Tick Tock, not thank you, I appreciate yeah, I think that. I think that the shift and I tend to go in different directions when I talk, so I apologize, but I think that overall, the overall idea is that if you love to do something...

...so much and you know that is your craft and that's how you want to make money, figure it out because because it's a fight for it, like that's what we do ninety percent of the time, like for me it's eighty percent right and mom being a mom is eighty percent. So how does that work? So I tried to Meld work and play and work together, even though I know you need to take a side time and just spend with your loved one, but I felt like this is great. I can work on my show, I can build more material, I you know, I can spend more time with my daughter, I can focus on the struggles that we're having and put them out there for other people, because I never could do that when I was teaching full time. I had to really kind of watch my back of like well, I have to block everyone from my school districts because they might not like certain things, and I don't have to do that. And I left my school district right before the pandemic really hit. Like I had given my sixty days notice in November of two thousand and nineteen. So February three was my last day and I was heading on a plane to Nashville to do show there. And then March sixteen that everything went to hell and I was like wait wood, but if I wouldn't have left, like I would not have had the opportunity to grow. I feel like we all grew somewhat virtually. You know, we had we had to. I mean that, yeah, it was that. It was that or life was about to get really miserable really fast. You know. Yeah, because you've been there. You've been doing some some crown funding as well. Right, so, glad you bring that up. You're going your this is why you're amazing. So I have been. So the way I can get funding for the pilot is that I've chose Indigo campaigning, or it's indigo campaign, and you can find it on my divorce story show website, divorce story SHOWCOM. But it is a way for people to donate get a perk if they donate. So, like you know, right now I'm doing shout out if they donate any certain any suck any size, right, like, size does not matter, and neither does your relationship status. I just it's it's hard. It's hard to raise money when you're like people are already struggling with money. I struggle with money, you know. But I said to myself, it's okay, I have a network of people that are on board for the show. I'm going to put myself out there and be transparent. If they can donate, great, if they can't, great, share it like it, add a comment everyone. I do. I just want to be making people laugh. And here's what we need to do to get to this place. So indigogo has been the campaign website, although the campaign is up in five days. So I'm debating if I create a new one for production divorce stories or I just are if I probably will just transfer it to like a go fund make, because go fund me's ongoing. Yeah, it's true. Welcome to the world of trying to fund your Shit, Michelle. I mean, don't know that you look at it like this. I think, if it is this, like it is my business. So I just incorporated it, right, or I just made it an LLC. Yeah, I just did that, and the thing was, I should have done had a while ago, but because now I'm going to be paint like I have production color. All right, we're going to put it under the company name because it makes sense and it's also my baby. You know, I have a theater company that is an LLC for children. It's my baby. But like that's really just focusing on its own clients right now because of divorceeries taking over. So I was like, all right, I've got to really set this up so that people are taking even more seriously. And you know, I'm a one woman show right now. Have a creative team. That's doing an amazing job, but like it's been a grind. Like the message behind my show is grit and hustle and grind and like it is real life, like that's the real life. That's why I feel like when I watched movies like Cray, I mean crash, was certain movies and shows that had that grit in them. I like that because they had that grit. They had a really work to get where they were, you know, like the wire. Just just in Michelle Training Compares her own life through the wire. You reading her first, and it's not my life. Is that the wire, although I did teach in schools, like in the wire. But the wire was very not acknowledged as the television show that it was with by any of the awards and stuff like that. Right. So, like and they're not the UNDO. Those show. A lot of these shows that were like I'm thinking my head, were underdogs where they made it on a network, you know, but there's a lot of late people that don't make that, their product doesn't get there and I don't know what, you know, whatever the reason it may be, and I'm sure there's a thousand reasons why my shows, you know, people can say why it's not going to be on a network right away, or why it won't be, which, guess what, I don't give a shit because I'm going to keep going and I'm going to keep flashing my cart. And this is not script. And this is how I took your note and I came back and here we go, here it is. I had a producer say that to me. He kind of pulled me out on my pitch. He's like, you're all over the place. I was like, okay, well, I'm going to turn it around. So I sent him my pitch deck, I sent him my my pilot. He ripped apart my...

...pitch deck, but he liked my script. Good, good, even did apart after he said you like, but, but, but, but he liked it. So like I took the moment of him sending me the message that you read it and said it was funny. I liked it. It's not there yet, but it's you've got something. I told that as a moment of the universe. You know, my deceased father who's looking after me, saying keep doing what you're doing and keep going, don't slow down. Yeah, can't, you can't, because the moment, the moment you life will take a yard from an inch. The moment you you give it even a little bit of a chance to impede you in any way, it's going to tenfold. You know. I mean Rocky Bell Bolla said, you know, nothing's going to hit you as hard as life, and that's that's true. Nothing's going to hear I love that. Thank I'm gonna put that on my fucking wall today. I love great for I have ever forgot about that quote. And you know, I think I think that on my own worst enemy. Right, I get in my own way, I could I choose the wrong man or let myself get distracted, and I started to really understand that writing the pilot and I'm writing like the series are. I'm writing you, I'm writing it as a series. So I'm right. I wrote the pilot, but I'm still refining. I'm still refining, taking notes from what I got, knowing that other people are going to give me loads of notes and trying to understand my vision and my story, because people are going to buy it, because they buying into me, you know. And you know, at the end of the day, if I don't enjoy the process, then what the Hell is the point? Right yeah, because the minute be the minute it feels like work, it's it's done. I've I've I've sacrificed and canceled many a project because I got to the point where I was like it just feels like a job now, so right. Well, and here's the thing, here's the cares of kicker. What if the job felt so? If so, the goal is the job is to feel like it's not a job. Right. So you're so your everyday work should feel like like love. I'll show you something. This is what I write. I write every morning. I know this is crazy. I write this every morning in my notebook. I love it. Right, divorce, Sary, run in network and I write three times in the morning, three times, six times, and then this one too. I think everyone. I want pursuit. Oh, pursuit. Okay, that's not what I thought of. Hey, man, who the acting like they can't chase a girl right just because they live twenty eight hundred miles away? I'm hinting it. I'm hinting at somebody that I just recently talked to about a and he was like, we live twenty eight hundred miles away, and I was like and put your run and shoes on right, get moving. It's two thousand and twenty one. Seriously, like like there's so many. It's not a it's not an inhabitants anymore, guys, it's not. Not none of this whole, like none of this whole. Yeah, I wrote my I wrote my sweetheart, Alett out. I'm waiting for it, for to write me back. It's like the hop on, Zoom and say Yo, Yo's up. What's up? But yeah, and EMOJI. I write every morning, every afternoon and every night. It was like three times, six times and nine times. It's some something with two thousand and twenty on us to do that. Somebody told me that. I was like, all right, I'll do it, that's fine. Chocolate, chocolate, kids sho go ahead. You can have one bunny. This is my daughter, so you're already in my hi. How you can have two gums, shops and to jelly beans in one chocolate. Please do not do this to your children. Okay, two, two and two. She's the cutest thing in the world. He's the best and we love your cat. We Love Rosie, yes, who is at the door right now sticking her paw underneath, pissed off. She can't come in here, but that's just a well, you know, if she would quit chewing on Shit, let her come in here. Or she jumps up on the shelf, looks at my you, looks at, you know, my models and just goes just needs to be on the floor. So it's and I'm tired of putting it back together, so she can just stay the fuck outside. It's so with so you, she mentioned, you've got it. You've got a whole production team working with you on this thing. Okay, so I hire well it. I I have my creative team that I brought on. That is my close like family basically. So Doug is one of them, and my friend Mark, who is close friends with Doug too, and then...

...a longtime friend, his name is Dave shoner, who has been in the film industry since for like over thirty years, and I, and the thing is I've known doug since we're in high school. So douves a go to. He's been working with me on divorce stories since it started. So Doug is an executive producer, marcus is an executive producer and mark and I known each other through Doug and he writes. He's a you know, he's at work. He's an actor and also he used to be on the allings so and Doug as well. But, like Dave, has so much background in producing stuff. That I asked him was like, would you be able to like it started off as and he lives near me. So He's a Jersey Guy. We're all in it together in Jersey, except well, actually Marcus la based and so is Doune. But you know, we got some Jersey roots in here and they these were people that I trust and that will are willing to help me and because they believe in the project. So I don't have a production I don't have a like a production company that's hired me to do the show. I'm self funding it. So you've got a team of people who know you and know the product exactly. And then I recently had put out a feeler for a director at my alumni, my Alma Mata. So I went to like get my master's at and New York University in Educational Theater and I reached out to one of my former professors who's also heavily involved in theater and New York and I said, look, I needed I'm looking for the list of people and I sent it out to Tishe to. I'm looking for cinematographer, I'm looking at her. I wanted to get started, to build relationships with people that had liked what I'm doing right and and then that could we can mailed with. So I met my director, Kitlyn Kemp, that way. She was the first she and she responded like immediately, and that was like hmm, and we met. We met me a zoom and I really felt a good vibe. So she's the director. I mean it just I feel like it clicked instantly and I felt, I feel very confident with her and that she gets the vision. And I also felt like having a female director would be great because they're going to understand from the fact that I am a female and it's coming from my voice. You know. No, absolutely, because you want to make sure that whoever's you know, in a in a situation like this, where it where it's a personal project, but you know, the director obviously is someone uninvolved. But for them to be able, we talked about relatability a little bit earlier, for them to have that level of relatability, it's because they their jobs to kind of guide the ships. You want to make sure whoever's guiding that ship kind of knows what the hell is being talked about and and she's taking like I do everything on my own in my life, I've always booked my own jobs. Might you know. I have a manager right now who does help me get work, but like in the in the past, I've just always done it myself and this project can't just be done by myself. I can't put up a TV pilot, I can't direct it, produce it, act in it and do it. So I need a team that I can just throw things at, and Caitlyn is been taking everything with production wise and getting the crew and cast and it's it's working well. The biggest thing that I have to do right now is fund if it's fun rate is like get people to donate to this campaign because and so and so. That's where I'm like here I'm I'm doing that and when I am waking up at five am, I'm writing like my artist notes, my stand up. No, it's my it's going back to the series arc. I'm writing and then it eight o'clock and nine o'clock after my daughter started school. I'm back at the grind. Now it's like all for the campaign to get to get funding. I know you mentioned you know, you know put getting on a network, getting our are you thinking like network tv, or are you also open to like a Netflix or a prime or something like that? And like, in this is the thing, I got some slack by this producer to art saying like Hey, you, all you want is it to be on a network. But what do you really want? I was like, I want to reach people, I want to reach a wider audience. I want people to know this show and have it touched their lives. So when I say network, I say network because you know, what did the office do for me for years? It was my relief and my safe place to kind of relax and online, you know, I want it on something that would just expand it and have a home for it for a long time. Right. So live stream. You know, Netflix is immediately what I think of, just because it's just it's so one of the largest live streaming platforms. Right or sorry, it's one of the largest streaming platforms. Comedy Central. I think of Netflix in comedy central because they have a home for Canadians and that's what I am so, you know, anyone else wants to take it a look, what's time? Yeah, because Netflix just loves right and checks to comedians these days. I mean, good, I know you didn't. You did an open mic at the cellar. Okay, cool, here's here's a hundred thousand dollars. Do a special time. I know. Oh, but what is not? But you know I'm going to. I'm going to say this, though, considering...

...that comedy central just doesn't show stand up anymore, I'll turn. Yeah, they used to. Every Friday night was like almost like three hours of half hour specials, and Saturday night they'd show like the uncensored, you know, new tight a special or something like that. Now it's like here's ten reruns of drunk history. It's like okay, and it's like becoming what MTV that was with music videos. But I feel like there's, God, there's going to be so many more other platforms that come up in the next ten years, especially with this. You know, the the age of Aquarius is honestly supposed to be the expansion of digital times, already more than we are now. So, like, I'm open to so many things. I just I I want the episodic series to grow. I wanted to continue, I wanted to be in a nice home where it flourishes and it becomes a a legacy, you know, for for women who are the underdog, who just can't seem to get out of their own way or catch a break, but have enough grit to pick themselves up and keep at it and not quit it. Like so it's like, you know, you have to have that within you. My entire life has been that, and in not in a bad way. It's just like what are you going to choose? To run and cry in the bad yes, and time to do that, but then I pick myself up and I figure it out and I go full force. You know, well, when you have to. You've got to be able to as much as you might love, love things where they're at or be happy with where things are at, you've got to be especially with what you and I do, were constantly looking for how to elevate things to the next level, because if you get once, you get once, it becomes a monotonous you know, and that's like that's a crossroads on that right now, because, you know, I've been doing this, will be sixteen years in October, and I'm kind of looking at like where I'm at now and I'm like, okay, is where am I at now compared to like where I started? What's next? Because it, you know, I got to figure out, you know how, you know, just figuring that out. And so with a show like yours, you know it. You got to think, okay, here's what the show has been for now. You know, taking it to an episodic series seems like, you know, like a great logical step forward beyond how you started. Looking beyond that as well, or is that just kind of like where your focus is right now? I always like I get vision boards out of like where do I want? Like couple years ago, even when I started this, I should even say when I started it, when I first I think was that carolines with the show. I remember writing down what I envisioned long term, right like I envisioned this becoming. I envisioned this as an entertainment brand. I envisioned that there's an episodic series on a network. I envision that it's a live comedy show that travels throughout the country and I envision, you know, multiple smaller brands popping up from that. You know, I mean there's you know, there's a divorced of diaries like bull. There's a coloring book for children with Special Needs, for parents, especial need for parents who have children with special needs, because that's a big predominant issue too, with with that issue. But central theme of the show is there's a lot of struggle within being a parent with a child who, you know, she doesn't have like a disability where she's like got to have my attention seven, but sometimes he does. Was She, you know, diagnosed with Adhd? Has Anxiety from a pandemic? Doesn't you want to hear that label? Is She really label all those things? Then when she was too, when I was getting divorced, wasn't speaking. Was the selective mutism? Was it was it? was she on the spectrum? Going to get test for all that? All that stuff in itself, there's not a real voice for it on any on any network television show. There's here and there pieces, but it's not real. I look at those shows and I'm like this ain't reality. You Ain't we're not saying in the bed crying, like what am I doing? We had the ABC had that show for a couple of years called called single parents. Yes, I didn't. I liked it a little bit, but I also felt like it was a funny show, but I was like because because my mom was a single parent up until I was those. She got me when I was ten, but I can still remember. It's like it's like, that's not that's not being a single parent. That's it was. It was one. It was one of those it's like a lot of sitcoms where it's this isn't how people talk, this isn't like. None of these, none of these kids are realistic. Kids don't act like this, don't talk like this. Right, we'll talk like this or act like this. There's not that. Sometimes I expect, specially in dealing with with comedy in in a broad network sense. A lot of times the the realism is sacrificed for the sake of, you know, a joke or something like that, and finding that balance between the realism and what's funny is the struggle. So that's a good point and that's where I trying to make it. That's why divorce staris would be different, because it's there's a lot of Improv based even though I wrote the script out, there's a lot of Improv within the structure right. So I'll tape a recording that...

I have of my I'll tape of conversation I have with my daughter right about like a boy, liking a boy, and it was a not a not a funny conversation, but the truth of it was funny. Like I was like this is conversation, makes no sense, mommy, and a want to like a boy, but I think you do no, I hate like it and it got really intense because I put the the humor in. It was the was the honest reaction and you don't get that and shows like that and it maybe it's because they're there's they're me like they're streamline networks. I don't know. But I did like single parents and you watch a whole lot of it, because I was a single parent and I'm working full time right and I think that's the funny thing, is like, well, is this I mean, and it might have been spoken by a real single parent, but then it gets watered down and then it gets changed and shifted. My hope would be that divorce stars would be picked up by someone that really wants to get the authenticity of my story out, because it's the authenticity, I think, that makes stuff that you know, people always remember and relate back to the things that meant something to them. And we keep bringing up this word relatable. But if it's not relatable, it's not going to be memorable. Because it's not relatable, no one's gonna ever like, you know, we talked. Whenever we talk about a song that means something to us or a film, it's because in some way we related to it. You know, nobody's favorite film is is porkis because it's an unrelatable film. It's hilarious and dated in two thousand and twenty. One couldn't make that movie today, but there's nothing relatable about it. So that's why I like never comes up in like a top top, top ten was we talked about top ten Roggi comedies, but that's like people talk about the you know, their favorite film is something like, honestly, like even like a bridesmaid's and like Talladega nights is one of my favorite comedic movies, okay, because I watched that over and over and over them after it was like after came out on video or DVD whatever, and video. Listen to my old ass talk about I'll still do it. I still do it, and you're younger than me and I'm like Oh my God, I think too that like if you can write a show like again show and my age, but if you can write a show like the golden girls and and you can connect to an eight year old like I was. Are they about middle aged women and their sex lives, then you are like that's gold, you know, and I mean that's that's what I hope to do with divorce diaries, like that's that's my dream in like connecting with like my middle school students used to watch the office and last I mean two years ago, I remember had the kid was watching on his phone. We're going to a field him and I was like, Oh, you like their office? He's a yeah, I love the office, and I was like and like all them were like yeah, we love the office, and they were in seventh grade and I was like now see, that is what I it's because the universal theme of like reaction, natural, reaction, natural, you know, feeling of like the odd ball out or, you know, being left out of a relationship in like that's kind of what I tried to hook in with divorce staries, right with like she sticks up for that underdog, even though that people keep pushing, even though she keeps making her own mistakes and people keep like kind of pushing her out of the way. She gets back in there and then when the time gets tough, she shows up. You know, maybe she trips and shows up, but shoes that she breaks. Yeah, but then she's goes fi some of the ten dollar sail one gets and gets get some great shoes. And you know, the opening scene is dug and Doug entering my apartment and like like he's mit videotaping in this in the script the whole time. But the opening scene, or one of this, sorry, not the opening, seems seemed two scenes after is me not having enough time, but I go and get coffee and trip on my way to get coffee. I can totally see that happening. But that's that's it. But again, that's it's speaking to. So many people have had have had that experience. How many times do we show up late to work carrying the drink cup that made us late to work? I mean times I calling to work, guys, when we ten minutes late. I walk in with a with a with a coke from McDonald's. It's like, Oh, that's why you relate. It's I mean, yeah, it's a buck. You know, that's what that's what made like like, you know, one of my favorite sitcoms of all time, as Mike and Molly, because there's a lot of show that I can relate to. Oh Yeah, can't and say with you know, cheers is to me is the God's here Sitcom. Here's gray. She's my favorite Sitcom of all time. But again, there was a relatability to that people who were dealing with alcoholism, who could relate to Sam, who were dealing with the feeling kind of like they were the odd one out with with with Shelly Loong's character, I'm but Diane,...

...thank you, Guy, and Jesus feeling. But no, but like fail you know, the preconceived start of their life. They thought they were going to be this winner, right, this big success and like the baseball scene, with like, with love, right. Good. Christy ally's character was like a hot mess all the time, right. Member, Oh God God, I Miss Christian Elley. And and you had riha Pearlman's character, who talked about failed relationships left and right. Good God, seven different baby daddy's or something ever. That that Kells you. You Know Kells, you know, being norm in as. There's so those are the there's so much relatability and also for me it was so relatable because, like the best memories I have are just me and my friends at the regular bar, you know, every Friday or whatever, just dealing with life over a beer. So that's those are the kind of things people look for and so with the show like divorce diaries, it's there's so many people who haven't felt that representation, which is a big thing nowadays with with entertainment, that that needs to be explored. I mean, I feel you on that and I appreciate that common because I want to tap so much into that with people on a bigger level. And I think that, like the dating component is a predominantly big theme for me in the show because it's a big theme in my life that I can't seem to get out of my own way. And and I even this last week, this last weekend, I just was sat in bed. I said it just come in to get and I'm really I'm leaving a pilot about it, and and I was like crying because I I just was like, is somebody else watching me go through this right now so they can be like shake the other person, be like you should not throw her away. But then at the same time he was saying to me, he's like, but I'm not throwing you away. You live across the country, and like this will never work. And and like we weren't, we're not dating or anything, but like we've been having really great conversation on the phone. And I mean again, this was like a business relationship that I started to kind of evolve into personal conversation to just like on advice, and then I started to feel like okay, some like and he's like, oh well, I mean, I appreciate your friendship. He's like, but you know, you live twenty eight hundred miles away. I think I said that number a couple times now. Clear I'm sorry. How many miles was it? He didn't round up. First of all, the fact that he didn't round up to three thousand tells me that there's room for growth here. Right. It's like you know exactly how the miles it is. Your Google are Sept you know that? Yeah, he he is. He found me about anyone of me to be on his podcast, and I was and I actually just got to knowe like long switch short. He's in the industry too, and like we got to know each other a little bit in the last month and like we haven't ever met. So I could not have the same feelings if I if I stood with him in person, but if I'm having emotional stimulation by our conversation, something's there. So what I basically was saying I was like, you know, you never said anything back. You just said that you felt you felt like I made you feel attractive and he had felt that way a long time. And he's like, well, what did you want me to say? I was like, AH, right, whish, that's great. Well, free for the record, Michelle, you're only six hundred and twenty miles away from me. Yeah, I'm gonna take this clip and sendnything back book. Yeah, but thank you. I'm just saying, buddy, just say it. And let me tell you something he said to me. was like it's not that you know, I don't find you attractive, but that yet to any defeat. But I said, well, I'm not asking you to like propose or even date me. I just the fact that, like you were, you're not even open to like connecting and talking further in that way. Like like, in other words, there's something we could do except continue to talk. But I think because, like I obviously think, I said, I pushed him away a little bit because I got a little aggressive on the I just was like calling him out on bs, and he's like what are you talking about? I said that's BS. You're going to put a ceiling on something that seems a little like we're connecting just because I live far away. He said, well, we're what would be the future in that? And he's like, I'm a realist. I'm like, well, you need to really imagine us together, not a it's not a realist. That's the that's the but that is the most bullshit excuse. So we will say, sorry, it's I'm a realist. No, you're just an idiot. I'm sorry. Being a realist, being a realist, when you look at that and go, well, she lives exactly twenty, eight hundred miles away.

Play tickets her helluge. Oh, what's that? What's it? Zoom is free. Oh now that's realist thinking right there. Mike, you see what I'm saying, like this is what I mean. But and I said that. I was like no, someone who actually is interested in me would be like yeah, I figure it out and and like I have a daughter here he said this, you have a daughter at your set. I was like, okay, R she's got a kid. That's it. She's done, no more, that's it. She's she's set. She said, guys, because she has a kid, because people with kids don't ever get remarried or getting other relationships or what the hell ever. My mom didn't do it and fo God. And the thing it's like I honestly was so little shocked because I felt like he wouldn't have said that, like based off of our conversation. So I was like what? I was like, okay, I wasn't like I was at least thinking he would say I can't wait, like I'm supposed to be out there, I'm just to be in La in July. So I was like, okay, yeah, and that's where he lit. Of whatever. He's a shit, he's yeah, he, I mean he said this guy to say I was time, this guy who lives in La. Okay, I know exactly who you're talking about. Well, he I think that, like, I think that there he like there was just a there's a lot of men out there that don't want to do long distance. I don't want to do long distance, but if I like thirty nine years of my life has been sent spent in New Jersey and I haven't found the love of my life, the person besides my daughter, the man that's going to generate butterflies and put effort in for me. So chances are the man that is going to be with me is not in New Jersey. That's how I look at it and you know, I gotta tell you that that's something I'm having to deal with myself too, because I look at it as I have been single since I moved here. You know, I was dating somebody when I moved here. We broke up not long after I got here and it's been six years now and it's like, okay, I am still haven't found anybody. Obviously that person is not local or or now I thought that here's another spin to it. Okay, we're this is what he said. I do kind of agree with this, because today I was like, yeah, I guess I could see the point. Right, you have something that you need to you have something you're working on that requires your attention to the point where and a relationship is going to take from it. And I agree with that, because any relationship I get into right now, I'll have to sacrifice divorcedaries. It just it's just what's going to happen? Like I was talking to this guy late at night. He would call me or we would tax and then he would call me and it was like threehour difference. So I'm up at twelve o'clock at night and I give a hat, I get to bed and then I want it. But I wanted to talk to him. So I look at it like well, maybe it's good that happened because now you won't distract me. That is actually, you know, I'll give you that. That is that is a one way to look at it, for sure to look at it. But then I cry in the fetal position because I need to be touched. And No, I'd get it a cuddle. And I'm getting my period, so it's going to be a full blown and do stuf. Oh, no, Scorpie, are you a scarting? You was far. Are you a Scorpio Capricorn? Okay, your cap. Yeah, so, and let me tell you, this guy was a Scorpio two, and so I was like thinking and and he has his birthdays on my favorite number, which is for so in my brain I thought this is the one because I make up. Romance travels in my head. My birthdays January four, though. Shit is it. I love it. You just agreed with me, though, on this guy. You. I am more in love with you than any moment ever that we've known each other, because I thought I was crazy. I was like, this guy's making me feel like an idiot for saying anything, and my girlfriend was like, don't push him away. And she was like don't say anything, they'll say anything. He'll say anything. You're going to push him away. I was like, I don't push people, I shove them. They don't want to be around with me by I have been in that position at this is I tell people because I get that I took me all the time. This is what happens, because I was raised by women till I was ten. I was raised by my mother and my grandmother until I was ten year. It was the I'm had my grandfather and some uncle was but like the main influences my other so I approach it's like I'm a guy. I mean I'm straight, but like I approach everything, I feel almost like from a woman's perspective, because that's all I knew during the ages of development. So is he that's sick. That so is he, though? Oh so he's just an idiot. Okay, that's I think. I think he has his guard up because he had, like his wife cheated on him, his ex wife cheated on him, but I don't know, I could be completely wrong. I just felt really bummed out because I was like, Oh, this is great, because this is the first person that has really sparked my like flat flame a...

...little bit, and he's not even like I typically wouldn't date that the physical type. And it is not. There's no listen, you know, I like big guys, right, I've said that before, and he's not a big guy from what I see. So like yeah, Bitch, okay, anybody, anybody who's not as big as me's a skinny bitch. So it's he's tot like. He's not skinny, but he's like shut and stock like. Not He's not stocky at all, but he's like, I don't know, he's not like what I probably would typically go for. So I was shocked that. I was like you, is he big, edgy, built like a Funko pop like, like, what do we talk about? The tire got, like he's just like a I guess he's my next husband was like short and not huge, so maybe he's like that, but but it didn't matter. The physical type didn't didn't matter. It was just the fact that like the emotional stimulation with our conversation was happening and I was just still bummed out that he was like no, you look too far away. We can't do that like that, just to just shut it like that, like just yeah. He's like I friend zoned you because I kept joking on, like yeah, because he kept saying our friendship, our friendship, our friendship, and I fought right I finally said him, I'm like, I'm sorry, but why do you keep friend zooning me? And and he's like Huh. I was like you keep friend zowing me. He's like, Oh, do you are? He's like are you thinking about me more than a friend? I was like well, I mean we have emotionally stimulating conversations and I think that's a turn on. And and he was like kind of taken aback that I kind of was open about that. But then he didn't really like after when I brought up the fact that he didn't say anything. Afterwards. He just appreciated the fact that I made him feel attractive. I was. He's like, what do you mean? I've said a thousand times how beautiful you are. Sexy you are, he said. I said, yeah, you say that in the framework of US talking about business. I said, but I'm talking about our how you're thinking about our interactions. He's like I you know, he made some good points. It just hurt because I'm like to shut me down like that, like because of the distance. It sucks, it does. It's one of the it's it's going somewhere this on. I toltdly lost my train of thought. Shit, sorry, I throw so many things up. There's I can understand, like like like being guarded. You know, you've been hurt by something once before. You don't want it to happen again. But you know what, I've never I've never personally understood. I made it and I made like a big I think I made a video about this one point. I've never understood the argument of we like we can't be together because we're such good friends. It's like I could never do with somebody that I can't be good friends with. Yeah, like I have to like if I'm gonna be with somebody like I have because it's going to be be with this person a lot. I have able to like really enjoy my time with them. And he best friends with your spouse. I'm I'm you're not gonna work. If I can't be best friends with the person I'm with, it's not going to last. And, and that's such a quote, a terrible Sitcom in the big bank theory. You know you can't real you can't ruin friendship with a relationship. That's like trying to ruin a donut with chocolate sprinkles. It doesn't make sense to me. So whenever anybody gives me that excuse of you're just too good a friends, I'm like that. But that bean wins that into it. And here's the thing. This guy had. I aren't like good friends as we have really just been built, where we've had really just built some kind of colleague ship or front. But my thing is, yeah, if he just if he know me for a while, as like, I just appreciate a friendship. And am I know you're not interested in me. Yeah, we haven't met, we haven't gotten to that point of where we can gage our chemistry together in a room, but I know there's something there. So so I was like kind of surprised if he shut it down immediately because of the location, unless he just you know, I mean, I'm US my intuition was wrong, but I could not. When you vibe with the person phone zoom in person, you get something from it. You feel it in your body absolutely. And I and you bring up the conversation thing. That is such a huge thing for me to I've talked to people like an online dating or bit on a first date with someone. I'm like if if after ten minutes were not like if we're one wording it back to each other or trying to get a response out of you about something, is like Yank and teeth. This isn't going to work. Noah, and I give you credit, I can't do online do I can't. Sucks. It's the worst. Never ever do it. Don't. Oh Hm, I just f feel like it's that's an additional task that you have to undertake. I know that's how people meet. I'm not saying it's...

...a bad thing, but I just feel like I can't even take on that right now and I wanted to. I would love to meet someone in the fuser, but like they have to take on a lot of times men don't want to take on and I hate when people say this to me. They don't want to take on a single mom my, my parent, my family has said that's me, and I'm like, well, fuck you. Then I said, first of all, there's so many men and women to take on other people's children and their lives. So what's with about me? Because I'm a comedian. You know, I do jokes about my life. That scares a lot of people off. They don't say that, but like this guy was like who are you going to put me in the show? And I was like, yeah, no, I say that, but I was like well, I mean, maybe you work meself into it, but I hate when I get that question. They'll be like, oh, so you're a comedian, so you're going to like talk about me like on your podcast, your comments on I'm like, if you do something funny, yeah, that that that is the risk you are taking. And and the thing is. The thing is I talked with a comedian and a writer this year. We were like flirting back and forth in New York City and then I started to fear that what if we both did each other at the same show? So we ended up just staying friends. But I did go off on him because he was like he was like slacking on the phone call and he was supposed to come over and I haven't let any man into my abode, let alone been with a man, since pandemic started. And the fact that I was going to open up my doors to him and he was like falling asleep during the work we'd like get out of here. And then I laid into him and I told him to go F off. Basically I said, unless you want to meet for a drink, I'm not having you at my house. You can't even you can't even wake up in the afternoons. Call me and he apologize and then like we're fought, like we talked, but like it's never going to be on that kind of way, because then I was setting myself up to to like bitch about him on stage. I don't want to do that. No, no, well, this is funny. Exactly. Well, there wasn't. Fully it's got to go. I'm it's like if it's tragic or or upsetting, it's like I might talk about it, I might not. If it's genuinely funny, it's going in the show. Agreed, because there are times all I you know, I've had exes be like can you not talk about that on stage? I'm like too funny. I got it that. I'm sorry, hit's all use your name, but it's too funny. I have to yeah, you don't have to use anybody's name. I mean I've had you know, yes, and I do a part of my show or Michelle does or x's and I don't use names and that's all people need to know. You know, this is my life. People are people are very said. I get it. I try to use much selfdeprecation as possible because I don't want to be I'm just going to make fun of everything. But, like, you have to allow the healing through humor component, especially with mental health, is that if I'm sitting in bed and I'm upset about something and I can't get my mind off of it, of course I'm going to write material on it because it helps me. It helps me not feel like a rej ox that a man in La who I have never even met is rejecting me and he initially reached out to me about a show, like it's just an you know what? I think it's more. He said you have a lot of like rage inside you. I was like, okay, because I was like I was like, well, maybe I do. Maybe I have a lot of rage about men that I don't return my love and I feel taken advantage of. I said, and you know what, that's not directed towards you, but but I'm frustrated with the fact that every time I feel something for someone, they it's like the poking. They run behind the chair and hide and sick. Not just kidding. I hate people. That's what it comes down and yet still want to fucking cuddle exactly. That's what talking about. Now, get out here, damn it, cuddle me and make love to me properly. Now, now with with Barbecue Wings afterwards. I mean, on the wise, what's the point? We can't eat afterwards. The point? What can we do? I was I was with somebody one time. She was like, Oh God, I can't. I was like you want to do something? I can't eat after sex. Why then? Obviously I didn't do something right. No, like that's the pity me of like, why would you not eat ever sex? That's the best, unless you're that tired. But like, I can look if you I'm too worn out. You know what, that's cool, awesome, like corn and and and maybe dancing the hallway on the way down. But you know, it's fine. Oh Holy Shit. All Right, Michelle, I love you and I love it when I get to talk to you, and me too, and and you're so funny. Funny Women Arere Hot, I don't care what anybody says. Ever, it can be with...

...so many comics. I can't be with a woman who's funnier than me. Why the fuck not? Oh my God, it's it's mail comics, you know. Well, they're afraid that they're going to be roasted, and they will. We don't even have to beat comics to roast them. That's the problem, I think a lot of us is they're afraid that they're going to get overshadowed, and that's just something. But you know, comics were all, we're all neurotic. It's fine, it's kind of inherent. I am I cannot wait. I want to know everything that develops with the show as it develops, and you know, any time you got something that needs shared or whatever, always let me know. But right now I want you, I want you to tell the people at home who are listening where, before we go into our next segment. I want you to I want you to tell them where they can find you online. They can find me on divorce diary Showcom, and that has all access to my social media, the INDIGOGO campaign, my podcast, my youtube channel, anything but my direct phone number. But but if you're keep ups the story, Showcom. So what we're going to do now is, because it's so, this show is sponsored by a company called Pod deckx. Pod Deck applies decks of cards for podcasters help to help build episodes, generate interview questions, as well as on mobile APP with all kinds of tutorials and gear listings. And we're going to pull from one of their digital decks right now. And because we have the host of divorce diaries on the show, you're damn right, we're pulling from the relationship deck. Oh, first of the foremost, Michelle trainer, how long do you think it takes before you know you love someone? Oh God, what do I tell people on a date? Oh, a couple months, but in reality like a week, ha ha ha. You know why? Because I I mean, I guess. I say a week because if I've dated some of a couple of times, I know when I fall on with ever on and you know, I think that's realistic. I think the people, I think a lot of the people say months or whatever because they like, I don't know, there's like some stigma thing. They live like a psycho or something like that. Yeah, Sigma, like I could pretty but yeah, I've known. I've known I was in love with people who who I had and dated just because I'd spend enough time with them. Yeah, absolutely, I'm all for being about the odd, like real, true and honest and transparent about it. Now, like I can tell right away, like I could tell that I'd fall in love with this guy. But I mean if his never mind, AH, but it was Dick's too small, but not too small. If it's not working properly and we need some additional help that he does want to get, then I mean, I could be too. Why? You don't know. I'M gonna put it all on him. I don't want to put it on somebody. There's always member folks, three sides to every story. His side and what actually went it wrong? Do you do you kiss on the first date? Ever? Hell, yeah, absolutely, if I'm feeling the guy, pucker up, baby. I'm almost vaccinated fully on Friday. Yes, I just got my first one over the weekend. So let's see here now. Those are all about current partners, which I don't have any of. What's one of the most difficult topics for you to share with with a partner? Oh Gosh, that's a good one. Difficult topics? Well, I guess it's what are we doing, because that's always been a like are we gonna? It's not that it's difficult. I'm always afraid that they're going to say, well, I'm not looking for any thing serious. So commitment, commitment in a real level, not funny joking around about it, but commitment, commitment, and God, I guess they're number Oh, getting tested. Oh yeah, that's a good one. Getting tested, ste stuff. Yeah, I hate having that conversation because I want to know, like when was your last test? But my last girver wanted me to get tested. I was like, all right, I have insurance. It's yeah, I mean I get tested through every every time I changed partners. Or like when my last guy that I was with, it was like every six months. I couldn't tell if he was lying or not about his ex wife. Well, she wasn't his ex wife, so go figure. So I would bug out. But good, I'm sorry. No, and that's so those two things. I think it's like you know, you know. Are you? You know what's going on? Are you, like when was your last test? And I never end up. I'm always afraid to ask, but I'm always like give a condom, give a condom, give a condom. You know, and it's like it's but it's anxiety for me and that in the commitment. I don't know which one is more anxiety. What if this isn't from the this isn't from the card, but like what is? What does commitment mean for you, like in like what's commitment? Putting an effort and being there, being at my show, calling me, texting me throughout the day, checking in, but not being overly,...

...you know, on top of me, just checking in and being sincere about it, like I just and I have not had that. I just don't think. Like every person I've been with has been like all over the place. That's they can't, you can't have that, you can't have that, which kind of leads into how do you know your relationship is over when they've blocked me? That's fair. Now. I mean, I think I know it's over. When there's the communication stops and I don't like to admit that because then it hurts. It hurts bad. Let's go, let's do this. Do Two more here. What do you what is the best way to earn trust in a relationship? By showing up, showing up and not being showing up. You're putting an effort, you're calling, your texting and you're not acting shady, you know, like you're just transparent. I think. I think it's also a vibe you have. I think if you can tell when you talk, I could tell you're a trustworthy person. You know, if guys are constantly on their phone on a date or they're forgetting to text you or forgetting to call you and they make excuses that they're working. No, I mean I think. I think showing up and putting an effort two huge things. The second they give you something to question or turn around it, like scratch your head, that's a best sign and many of them do that. So it's scary. Yeah, the phone, everybody excluded. The phone thing especially irks me because it'll be like you text, I'll do, you know, text and action, as I'm sorry, did my phone on me every time I'm with you, that thing is fucking glued to your hand. So why is it when I want to talk to you, suddenly into my phone on me? Bull Shit? Every single time, every guy has said it's me or they're working, if you're on set and and you are posting on your instagram story, but I have texted you and you haven't responded. Oh yeah, they don't think I won't check that Shit and they see me joke about it and they still did it. You guy laughed. Why? Side that booty? That's a one of my ex has said to me when he texted me on New Year's I texted him to your z like a lonely person, that I was feeling sad and I was like hi, and we keep sorry, I'm getting the sun time. I so he he sent me a message next day. He's like I need my bollockslicked, and I was like what the fuck, and I was like, is this how we're starting off? Two Thousand and twenty one, Michelle, we're still engaging with your ax and so thanks. Problems with that, so many problems with that. Yeah, so I said to him, I said I just want you a part of my life and he's like like inside that booty. So I did a bit about it. I don't know if he's mad about wow, yeah, it's a he really said that to me and I was like, okay, that's a pretty funny line. She's I mean, just post pictures of himself with his Jordans or with his cigars or his backyard and like his face is cut off like just to show his eye that he's out with people. So annoying. I mean he was like I dated him for like six or seven months back in like two thousand and fifteen, two thousand and sixteen, that was the longest real relationship I've had since divorce. The other relationship I had was with somebody who I was hiding because he wasn't not he was married, and I'm so embarrassed by that, but like it's the truth. Like I wanted to believe that he was going to get divorced and get separated. He was just staying for the kids. He's just a lie. But I wasn't out in the open with him, so how could I believe that? It was just a bad, bad that was a very bad situation for media and and that and that way took that took up a year and a half of my life. So I mean I prevented myself from meeting somebody really great. And then the guy before that was another cop who did the same kind of Shit as the other cop did, which not all cops are bad by any means, but the two that I would dating were clearly not about commitment or sobriety. Jean Michelle Michelle. All right, one last one. What's one thing about love and relationships that scares you? Getting out of love, falling out of love? Really, yeah, I'm scared of that. I'm scared of that actually happening. It happens in my marriage, it happened in my relationship before I got married, and I just didn't realize it. What do you think? What do you think causes people, not even necessarily used in people in general, to fall out of love with someone? I don't think there was room for it to grow in the first place.

Really Yeah, I think that. And sometimes there is and sometimes you grow up hard. I think that's what happened. I think that, though, essentially, there was a lot of red flags in the very beginning that I didn't take and I just should have, and I change a lot about myself. I think that there's a there's a different there's factors that are involved in that that are different for every situation. I think it gross is one thing. I think if you change something about yourself and you suppress it, that's going to come back to bite you in the ass. And you know, and sometimes there's no like specific maybe sometimes it's a combination of things. You know, mental health is a huge part, that's for sure. Someone doesn't it take is someone doesn't get the mental health and check. Oh yeah, that is a big part. And like, and that's it for men or women, like you know, making sure that you're your best self at all times and and really working on yourself. Meanwhile, I rage Tex people with your with your marriage. You know, I just thought of something so like you know, and you mentioned like when you got married, like you you put like, you know, performing on hold to, you know, go start a family and all that. Do you? And so do you? Do you want ever, wonder, do you think that like getting into you know, growing apart and the falling out of love things, you were think that maybe subconsciously there was like resentment under the surface to it? Yeah, I think it wasn't his part. He didn't say go ahead and stop acting full time, but I knew that deep down like my choice of leaving full time and to teach full time and not worry about money and be in one place at a time. And and you know he I don't think he was super comfortable if I got a part that I had to make out that God like. I think. I think it was definitely the suppression and every time I suppressed it there was a like a the lava was ready going to big it pop up like that. Right. So when I started teaching in Trenton, I had met somebody who I worked with that I was very attracted to, and that's when the suppression started to bubble up because I couldn't contain myself anymore. It wasn't that I had an affair of the guy anything that. It's just was like my true self was like coming out more and I was like what happened to me? And and I couldn't hide it. I really I just couldn't suppress anything anymore and make myself feel guilty for being who I was, because it wasn't right if I was, you know, with somebody else and having guy friends and all this other bullshit that I was telling myself, which was stupid, you know, and then you feel like if you feel like you're it, will get it build, it builds that pressure and you know, with any pressure, sooner or later if you let it get long, and then that's when real mistakes get made. or I could have checked, could have cheated on him, and that that I did not want to do. I did I didn't want to cheat at my husband. You know, that was a big thing. I no matter how much you don't like love somebody anymore, you're not in love, or how much anest you have towards each other, I didn't want to do that, obviously. So that's why I gotta out that. That's a big, main reason, because I thought I'm never going to be happy fully, I'm not going to happy this relationship. And he blamed me. He's like we just got mad, like we were married five and a half years, but it happened pretty quickly. Of how I felt, but I suppressed it and I tried, we went to therapists. Yeah, a baby, you know, I mean a lot of stuff happened, which was great, that we had a baby. I mean it did actually subside for a while. When I had, when I had my daughter, when I was pregnant. But it comes to light, your issues come to light when you bring a child into it. You know, you see the other person, you see things that you're like, Oh, you know, especially because now you've got and I can't I'm not a parents, so I can't speak to any of this, but you know, you've got another whole person you're now responsible for who's there well being. You are. You are not solely there's two parents involved, but you know, more or less solely responsible for that. You have to take into account with with you know, the decisions you make. Then absolutely and and and then you start to realize, like this is what my life is going to be. No, I didn't want to be inhabito. I don't want either of us to be unhappy and angry. That wouldn't done anything good for our child. You know. So, and he has a girlfriend and stuff now like it's we're on a better place, and that's that's. That's that light at the end of the tunnel is. Did things improved? Did Things get better? Are you happier? I'm definitely happier and things definitely improved. I'm dead. You know why? I'm happier Amiss not having like the love of my life, you know, having a partner. It's about being myself. I'm I live every day meet you know. I think that that's that's the best thing you could give yourself. Be who you are. Like someone asked me on another progress so like what some people lose her identity and divorce. I was like, you know what, I got my identity back because of...

...divorce as a on that that is an amazing way to look at it and I cannot think of a better way to do a better line to wrap this thing up on with you, Michelle. I cannot wait to see what happens next with the show and with you, and I'm always I'm all like Mike Wells is coming over tonight in we're always talking about when did the funny bone show. He's always, you know, he's always asking how you're doing and in the rag about how things are going with you on when you were doing the outdoor shows during covid and all that. So well, I love you. I think you're amazing and wonderful and you're spreading humor and cheer throughout the world and I'm going to be in Ohio at funny stop on July fifteen. Make sure that's not one of my vacation yeah, and dove's coming. Gun Dun's going to be there too, so, being him, we're doing divorce staries, baby. Yeah, let me stop. Awesome. Well, I hope. I'm. I'm going to take time off work to make sure I'm working out Liley's. I'm on my manager call them because we want to try to do a couple of spots while we go to La July to thank you much, mine for having me. Thank you so much for coming on, and I can't wait too. I Gu said I can't wait to see what happens next and tell everybody one more time where they can find you, Diret, you can find me a divorce diary Showcom we're all social media divorce diary show all day, every day. It's Michelle with one l people. What else? Baby, and it's trained. Ah Fuck, thank you, Mike. It's Michelle trainer right now, traink Jesus. Okay, that is awesome. You have to you have to record that for me and do it for something I work for, like one of my videos, because that's amazing. All right, we all right. Well, we're gonna we're going to let Michelle go great some more cheese and and eat it with her strawberries, because I guess that's the thing. And with that being said, Michelle, thanks again and I'm going to we'll talk to you again soon. I'm thank you, Michelle, and with that guy's that is the VIP table for this month with Michelle trainer. Love that woman with all my heart. You guys, are sure you check out the divorce diaries. Divorce Diary showcom. You can check out more about this show. We got a brand new website now, TPL pod dotnet. That's tbl pod dotnet. Make sure you guys also head on over to pod dexcom and check out everything they have going on there. And you can use the coke tbl Ten tvl zero to get ten percent off your order at check out. And also number guys want to if you have a podcast to your own and you want to get an awesome website for it, just go to pod pagecom and you can use the link down the description and make that happen. We'll see you guys again next month. I'm a a burpon microphone for another VIP table. Who knows we're going to get on who we're work. I love doing the interviews, but we're going to we're going to get some. We've had outam are, we've had Michelle trainer. The hell knows we're going to get next, but keep on, keep on. Support the Patreon if you are. If you're not, on over to patreoncom slash tbl and a four pod three dollars a month to in our VIP section and get acts, school stuff like this and a whole lot more. My name is Mike Shay. You can find me on that twitter instagram at Mr Mike Shay. Followed Mike Wells on twitter instagram at at Mike Wt f wells, and we will see you guys next time. As always, live well, rock on, take care and go buy.

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